Chasing Kindness

I Embrace You hosted a talk on Thursday, December 2 with Michael Chase of the Kindness Center.I won’t go so far as to say the talk was life changing—Michael reiterated a mantra my mother’s been telling me my entire life—but it definitely rocked my world a little bit.

I usually avoid I Embrace You as a general rule, as overzealous happiness tends to frighten me, but when I saw the text my friend sent me as a reminder, I got a sinking feeling. I was having a bad day and didn’t want to listen to an inspirational speaker. I wanted to be curl up with hot cocoa and some good TV.

I knew, though, how much it meant to my friend. Guilt overrode my desire to get back to my dorm, and I started my trek to the other side of campus.

Am I Being Kind
Michael Chase's book "am I being kind" will be released in April. | Photo courtesy Hay House Publishing.

When I arrived, the speaker was introducing himself as Michael Chase, founder of the Kindness Center.Chase talked for a while about his personal life, and to be honest, I wasn’t particularly riveted. It seemed the same as every other inspirational speaker – depression, abusive family, a suicidal parent. But then Chase started talking about his guru: a turtle.

Michael Chase, a successful photographer and the founder of a non-profit organization dedicated to kindness, found his calling through a turtle. His wife had swerved to avoid running over the reptile, and when Chase went to retrieve it, a wave of compassion hit him. Suddenly he understood: happiness was actually all about kindness.

The talk went on for almost two hours as we learned more about the projects Chase had set up and discussed the implications of treating ourselves, each other and our earth with kindness at all times.

More amazing than that, though, was what we did afterwards. One of Chase’s programs is called “Caffeinated Kindness,” when he goes to coffee shops and pays for whatever a person orders. He took us with him to the Dunkin’ Donuts near Packard’s Corner to observe and aid in the program.

My bad day started to look up and I was ready to spread the good cheer. We went into Dunkin’ to find the shop deserted. Buzzing with good vibes, we started pulling people in from the street. The first few people were appreciative, stoked to get a free coffee in exchange for a hug.

Then a man came in, looking surly and affronted by the large group in front of him. He was staring at the menu when Chase said, “I’ll buy you whatever you want if you give me a hug.”

I didn’t catch what the surly man said, but he must have refused the offer because Chase laughed and said, “How about a pat on the shoulder then?” He squeezed the man’s shoulder and went up to pay for the people in front of him. The man turned to me and pointed.

“She looks just like my daughter,” he told the group. We were surprised—he was Arab and I am very obviously not—but we smiled and laughed and paid for his coffee. He chatted with the cashier, but on his way out, he hugged Michael Chase, thanking him and us for the coffee. Then he approached me with his hand outstretched and I put mine out politely, but he changed his mind.

“No, how about a hug?” he asked, beaming, and we went in for a hug. From a pat on the shoulder to two hugs? Not bad. These acts of kindness had significant effects on these people’s lives.

“And they’re going to carry that energy with them out on the street and pass it on,” Chase told us as we watched customers walk out cheerfully. We began to feel like we were changing the energy of the world, one cup of coffee at a time.

Three times we said that it would be our last one, but each time another person walked in. Finally, a sad-looking woman walked in. My friend and I exchanged glances and we both knew what the other was thinking: if anyone needs this free cup of coffee tonight, it’s her.

While Michael was chatting up the people in front of her, she got in line behind them, apparently oblivious to the gaggle of college students abuzz behind her. When the customers left, Michael turned and offered to buy her whatever she was getting.

“What?” she said, obviously taken aback. Michael explained the deal to her and she gave one of us a hug before letting him make her purchases. She walked out grinning, and we felt a wave of accomplishment.

The philosophy is so simple: hold open the door for the person coming in behind you, offer to buy someone a coffee, hold the elevator for the next person. Even so, we often forget to put others first. Especially when we’re stressed about exams and final projects, it can be easy to be grumpy. We need to remember that the energy we put out will very likely be reciprocated. So when I Embrace You offers you a free hug next Friday, give it a try. Sometimes kindness can change your life, or, at the very least, rock your world a little.

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