Don’t Call Him a Bird Brain: Esteemed Speaker Comes to BU & Talks Tufts Commencement

With Tufts recently outing BU’s 2011 commencement speaker, we here at The Quad landed our own interview with Tufts’ commencement speaker. However, at our guest’s request, we have decided to keep his identity a secret. All we can tell you is that he performed at Agganis this semester… and it isn’t Charlie Sheen.

The events of this interview may or may not have actually happened.

An unnamed speaker at BU. Illustration by Evan Caughey

Yesterday, BU welcomed a special guest, in town giving a talk at COM about the importance of public television, and one at the BU Academy about the letter “L.” This guest revealed himself to be—shockingly enough—the commencement speaker for Tufts’ graduation ceremony, however, out of respect for the Tufts community, he asked us to keep his identity classified.

The guest spoke at length about his lifelong television career educating children. He has been working in the field since November of 1969, with generations of kids in the same inner-city neighborhood.  He has tackled racism, self-esteem issues, and illiteracy. He has worked with Diana Ross, *Nsync, and Destiny’s Child, among other celebrities, to promote healthy living and education.

He was kind enough to sit down with us at the Warren dining hall this week, where he was happy to sign autographs for his adoring fans, many who claim to still watch his show every day.

According to his online bio, the esteemed speaker likes roller-skating, making people feel better, and finding solutions to problems.  He spoke at length about the issues he faces in television. “I was profiled a lot,” he said. “People tend to think I’m featherbrained. It took a long time for me to prove I wasn’t just a puppet.”

The mystery speaker also revealed himself to be a big fan of The Quad. “I read that recap when my friends were on an episode of Top Chef,” He added. “But I don’t plan on going on that show, I’ve gotten some offers to appear on Project Runway and RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

He also mentioned that he’d worked with BU’s 2011 commencement speaker, Katie Couric, quite a few times. He noted her hard-hitting reporting abilities, and mentioned he wished he could have spoken with her at BU, “I would love to have spoken at Boston University commencement, but you guys didn’t ask!” The speaker said. “I had to eat a pound of birdseed to get over the heartbreak.”

Despite being in the public eye for over 40 years, the speaker has remained humble. “I want my commencement speech to teach those kids good values they can take through life,” He said. “I know most college graduates are worried about finding a job, but I remember when I was just a little bird, waddling through rough streets—there were things popping out of trash cans, vampires, monsters—but I kept looking forward, and I want to bring all of my life’s knowledge to those students at Tufts.”

Indeed, this unknown speaker can imbue knowledge well beyond what comes after 7.*

*Ed Note: Apparently, 8.

About Amalie Steidley

Amalie Steidley (CAS '13) is an International Relations major and the Campus Editor for The Quad. She cares way too much about the proper use of the semicolon.

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