Hello There “Biddy,” My Old Friend

A black dress and high heels do not an idiot make. | Photo courtesy of xlordashx via Flickr Commons.

Biddy.

What a strange word, that. According to the ever-reliable Urban Dictionary, a “biddy” is a coupon used at McDonald’s in Australia…and a hot girl. Most BU students, though, are probably aware of the many connotations the term holds. As both a derogatory term and a label to aspire to, it refers to a type of woman with a certain look, style, and way of behaving that seems to engender alcohol-fueled mockery by both women labeled as such themselves and by many of their peers, most especially by men.

And the subgrouping “biddy”? It sucks. It really, really sucks.

If I were to break down the many reasons it sucks, I would go on for quite a while after my word count. It’s classist (the clothes it “takes” to fit the part cost quite a bit), racist (I’ve only ever seen it appeared to light skinned women), and it’s exclusionary (you’re in or you’re out, whether you embrace or eschew the label).

Worst of all, however, is that the term is unbelievably sexist.

At one time or another, we have sorted and been sorted by labels both multiple in number and variety. As much as our culture lauds individuality, labels are an easy way for our brains to sort each other. But when these labels purport a lifestyle based first and foremost on one’s gender identity, and on a highly stereotyped one at that, we start to hurt each other.

“Biddies” are most commonly mocked by men, without repercussion, which enforces the idea that women of this subset are open targets for derision. Some men love to lump all women with this style and behavior together. It’s open season, for there are plenty of women for them to label as less than intelligent or capable women who only care about partying and their physical appearance.

If you have been labeled a “biddy”, you should be pissed. You are a human who deserves to be given respect. If you are a man who mocks these women, cut it out. You are lucky enough that you can just be yourself and avoid a lot of labels, besides “bro,” which is an unspecific, often positive term. We call this a privilege, this time a stereotype privilege, and here it means that any label you receive won’t be as damaging or degrading as the term “biddy.”

Women have to deal with a lot already, like keeping themselves safe and being told they suck at a lot of things because of their gender. And if you’re just another BU student who wants to degrade other women and call them “stupid biddies,” also cut it out. It helps no one to tear each other down, and if your insults come from the bitterness of a previous hurt, address the perpetrator; don’t rob someone of their humanity and individuality by assigning them generic, insultatory traits for your own smug satisfaction.

And, if you happen to be one of the few women who feels empowered by the term “biddy”, own it. Love it. Be you. Just don’t use it as an excuse to put other women down, okay?

About Sarah Merriman

Feminist. Activist. Anarchist. Future mental health professional. Food maker. Hot drinks lover. Wrinkly dog enthusiast. Human person. @sarahmerra

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6 Comments on “Hello There “Biddy,” My Old Friend”

  1. I tend to agree with your analysis in that grouping any human beings in a category that is explicitly derogatory is damaging and unfair – not to mention limiting when you’re only referring to women.

    Although, and maybe this just concerns my social circle, “biddy” is used equally if not more by women to describe other women they find distasteful on several different levels. It’s almost as if the context changes entirely depending on who’s saying it. For instance, to me, bro never means anything good.

    Bro is the antifeminist, uncultured, heteronormative, muscle-bound, jerk. When I hear “biddy” I think of the bro’s counterpart. I hate to say it, and although I don’t condone name calling, there is a social phenomenon on campuses across the country of people who are like this.

    Given these definitions, and I am genuinely and proudly a feminist, I’ve never seen “biddy” as an explicitly sexist name, especially in comparison to the use of “bro.” There is something to be said of the word’s historical use though. It was, for a long time, used in the same way “bimbo” was.

    By the way, there is a huge difference in referring to someone as bro, and calling them a bro. Again, I’m not necessarily disagreeing with the article. I thought I’d just add to the conversation.

    Thanks for writing this! Conversations like this need to happen much more often.

  2. Where I come from bidd and biddy ,means mother or grandmother! How’s your old bidd? My old biddy,s doing fine thanks. And for your father you would say old man. Your old, man in, ye my old, mans in the garden
    It is seen as a term of affection and seniority.

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