I’ve been creeping hard all week, which is hopefully the only thing I have in common with the guys on To Catch a Predator. Well, that and the fact that I too have Bieber Fever, which, by the way, has developed into full-blown AIDS.
But enough about my latest visit to Student Health Services; there’s a lot of stuff going down on this campus! Firstly, an anti-gay and anti-feminist activist’s kidneys failed. Secondly, BU is about to raise an amount of money that would make Mitt Romney almost start to perk his ears. (Of course, the robotic engineers who manufactured Romney haven’t built in the ear-perking function yet).
As a senior I must admit I am very offended that my school has decided to become awesome just as they heard I was graduating—because, like Sigmund Freud and other Austrian cocaine addicts, I don’t believe in coincidences.
Ha! Nice try, Twitter! But there’s no way in heck I’m looking at TwitPics from @BUAthletics in public! My mom still has me on AOL “Mature Teen” settings.
Now, I don’t wanna tell BPD or BUPD that I warned them in this column two weeks ago, so I’ll just link them to it. But let’s not jump the gun here, initially no pun intended.
Son of a gun! And 5 in the P.M.?! Maybe part of BU’s new $1,000,000,000 campaign can guarantee students that a bit fewer of us will get robbed at gunpoint near campus. I, for one, am terrified of getting murdered and subsequently losing my Financial Aid package.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A TERRIBLE CONVERSATION
Is this what Democrats talk about when they run into each other?
SCOTTY DOESN’T KNOW. OR GIVE A F***.
Appreciate the T(w)itPic and assuming those are breasteses…Ask your doctors today to find out if Senator Scott Brown is right for you!
SCHOOL OF MED NEEDS SCHOOL OF ED
Someone help this kid out! This dude has obviously lost all of his belongings in some building! And he needs that stuff now! This is like witnessing a fire and just tweeting about it! Unlock this kid’s room!
Twist ending: the afore-retweeted tweet was in reference to the brand new (and first ever) residence hall on the School of Medicine campus. Up until now, MED students have been famously sleeping in tents sprinkled across their campus since 1848, surviving solely off of a desire to one day use a stethoscope.
Also, on a personal note, your Twitter handle is @BUMedicine, so I hope I’m not reading into this too much but…where could I buy “BU Medicine?” Is this a University-specific drug? Is it given out at Orientation to deal with the next four years? ‘Cause I seriously need it, and I seriously doubt my Obamacare covers those premiums.