What a bad week for journalism students, given the fact that the second-biggest weekly news magazine in the country will become a blog run out of Tina Brown’s mother’s basement.
And what a bad week for all of us students, given the fact that a presidential candidate is so out-of-touch that he’s managed to give binders a bad name.
In less than 20 days, the tiny portion of Americans who are registered to vote might vote for a brand new human (or a brand new robot who founded a private equity firm) to be the most powerful person in the entire universe.
That’s right. Someone’s taking over Oprah’s TV show. And I’ve thought of just the right host.
In addition to some puppets on PBS, college students have become one of the biggest political props–I mean “serious issues”–in this election. So let’s see what’s going on in our world, which, of course, exists solely on Twitter.
In case you missed this event as a result of your self-respect, here’s the secret as to how previous alums got jobs after graduating: Bill Clinton’s blowjay-filled economy.
Um…is this a bad sign?
I THOUGHT THIS BACON CHEESEBURGER WAS KOSHER!
I guess the Internet is getting in the way of our productivity. “WOW EXCUUUUSE ME FOR NOT FIXING THE PROBLEM BUT I’M A LITTLE BUSY TWEETING ABOUT HOW I’M GOING TO FIX THE PROBLEM. MAN, KIDS THESE DAYS…”
WORST EVENT NAME EVER
“Scarlet fever is an infectious disease which most commonly affects 4-8 year old children. Symptoms include sore throat, fever and a characteristic red rash. It is usually spread by inhalation. There is no vaccine.” Thanks, Rhett. Now SHS is gonna have to set up clinics at the GSU basement and finally put that dog to sleep.
WHY THEY HATE AMERICA
I heard the Navy Seals never killed bin Laden. He saw a photo of StuVi 2 and committed Jihad against himself.
WHY AMERICA HATES THEM
I guess that’s what happens when you study abroad in a place where nobody does anything except sit in coffee shops, smoke cigarettes, and write about how life is meaningless. And are you still a professor if you go by your first name and teach eight kids to make dessert?
WHY EVERYBODY HATES POLITICS
Wow! This Expo sounds groundbreakingly groundbreaking! I’m guessing the rest of the conference steered away from the obvious.
Oh, so that’s what conservation means! I thought it was something that required laxatives.
Ah…so we move all of the hobos out of the slums, build schools, and then let the hobos sleep in the classrooms? Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. Big ideas from the asses. I mean donkeys.
THERE ARE INDIANS AT THIS SCHOOL?!
Such a great culture show. By the time I left, I found myself locked in two different castes and three arranged marriages. But the katha meetha petha? Abtholutely fantathtic.
BUT IT’S DAYTIME…
Then I guess it’s a daydrinking kind of day, too. (So that scream must be pretty slurred.) I heard going to T Anthony’s not drunk is like going to McDonald’s not high; it’s still delicious, but even God loses respect for you.