BU TweetCreep Jan. 30 – Feb. 2

Aloha Creepers! Here’s the campus goss:

That CAS think-tank-lounge-nap-zone thing is coming along nicely. I hope all of the high school seniors out there stop thinking about whose basement they’re going to get drunk in for prom and start appreciating we who fought so hard for a place to chill undisturbed. Not me of course. I didn’t fight. Unless you consider stomping around the GSU megaphone-ranting about the lack of study space “fighting.” In that case I went to WAR.

<METAPHOR> The point is, I planted this tree and I’m mad bitter that I can’t eat the stupid fruit. </METAPHOR>

**Edit: Just found out it might be done in April. Whatever, just let me be miffed.**

But. Enough. Foolishness. We all need to pull ourselves together and get ready to welcome BEYONCE’S TWINS INTO THIS WORLD. Do whatever you need to do. Splurge on a trendy outfit to wear to the baby shower that you will certainly not be invited to but will instead watch unfold on Instagram! Work out more! Don’t let them see you at your winter weight! Get a job! We have to pay for a babysitter so B and Hova can HAVE A GOSH DANG DATE NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN!!!!

Some other stuff that happened this week:

McDo’s Burger ATM (was the line worth it tho? Who’s to say?)

The president resurrected Fredrick Douglass in honor of black history month! Aww!

D.R.A.M made my legs weak.

Serial team is back with another MURDER PODCAST!!!!

Muji. Is. here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know there was politics stuff too. I can’t think about it or I’ll cry/barf.

But Pres Brown’s Op-Ed was pretty good tbh.

TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET!!!!

We did it. We finally broke @BUDiningService. The thing is, the tweet itself is pretty weird but the movie is really worth a gander. SPOILER ALERT: there’s a sick shark grab at 1:35. #sharkgrab

Also wait, ARE THEY SERVING US SHARK??? Don’t bother swiping me in. I’m out on this.

MY FACE IS TELLING ME TO GET AWAY FROM THIS SHADOW-DUDE’S HAND!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL HEALTH WILL BE BOOSTED WHEN I DON’T FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA BE SQUEEZED!!!!

That’s an alternative fact. Those people are blurry. Nice try SAO.

Ya gotta be the one before you can find the one FitRec. Maybe try BU Crushes 2.0? Is that still a thing? Also, you put out a call for multiple people but this feels really specific. I think you’ve got someone in mind. Take a chance, Snapchat her or something. Or try lowering your standards. What’s so wrong with a female personal trainer with only one, out of date certification? She might have a great personality or something. Look, all I’m saying is maybe your standards are unrealistic. It’s time to settle. You’re not getting any younger.

I know this is from 2012 but it just brings me so much joy. It’s just so fricken earnest ya know? It’s like that whole “be the change you want to see in the world” stuff but simplified for the modern age. I want to shout it from the rooftops:

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE BRUNCH AND I WILL TWEET ABOUT IT THANK YOU!!!!!

That’s it. Here’s Mayor Marty Walsh eating a sandwich.

Byyyyyeeeeee!!!

Carly Sitrin

I'm the senior editor of The Quad. Interests include: frogs, backpacks, satire, Adele, and the oxford comma. Tweet me your dreams @carlysitrin.

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