From Flickr User the contented

Here we are again, at a moment in our lives that we have to simultaneously worry about the livelihood of our GPAs, getting home in a timely manner and/or moving. It doesn’t seem fair that all of these things build up at the end of the school year but hey, that’s life. If you are like me and begin suffering small panic attacks due to lack of academic self-esteem you may be looking for ways to keep calm, cool, and collected. Here are some quick and easy de-stress methods to get you through finals:

1. Organize: Although keeping yourself organized during finals seems obvious, I cannot stress how important it is to keep the area around you organized too. If your study space is cluttered it may add to the stress, providing distractions and keeping your blood pressure up. The last thing you need when studying for a final is to have misplaced your keys. Take this advice and do a quick 15-minute clean up before you sit down to hit the books. You’d be surprised at how much more focused you can be with a clean study space.

2. Exercise: Sometimes when we get mentally or emotionally overwhelmed we need to quickly blow off some steam in order to continue heavy academic concentration. Clearly, we don’t want to distract others by running laps around the library but there are other ways to wake our body up and get it focused. If you are studying in the library and get stressed, take a walk; use the stairs to walk down to the GSU and back. This simple break and get the heart pumping and the mind ready and eager to absorb information. If you are studying at home a few yoga poses can really do the trick.

3. Power Nap: As much as we may need to pull all nighters every now and again, sleep deprivation is an easy way to ensure a poor test grade. While most of the time getting a full 8 hours during finals isn’t possible, small 20-minute powers naps can help you to refresh your mind and body. Three or four of these throughout the night can help your brain stay alive and kickin so that your grades don’t suffer from exhaustion.

4. Music: Listening to music while studying can help you stay awake while also giving you some important cognitive benefits. Listening to classical music while you study is a well-known booster for the brain. Research has proven that listening to music with a strong beat can stimulate brainwaves. A slower tempo will provide you with a calm state of mind while a faster tempo can promote alert thinking and strong concentration. Different kinds of music can also trigger different responses in your breathing and heart rate, creating a small distraction that helps your stress melt away.

5. Visualization: This technique is a personal favorite of my mother, who says that it helps her to find parking spaces on the busy streets of Brooklyn, but not to worry folks  it can easily apply to prepping for finals too. Procrastinating on a paper? Close your eyes and try to visualize yourself sitting down and typing your little heart away. If memorization is what you need, visualize yourself in your classroom acing your exam. The feelings of calm and success stemming from these visualizations will put you in the mindset needed to crack down on your studies. Staying optimistic through positive visualization can often help keep panic at bay.

The wonderful pieces of advice seen in this post can be found at:

http://stress.about.com/od/studentstress/tp/school_stress.html

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• Stress-Busting with “Stress Buddy”

Image by Flickr User: Ajda Gregorcic

I think it’s pretty safe to assume that during our time at BU, we have all come into contact with the emotional tornado associated with an on-again, off-again relationship. If you have not been in one, you probably know someone who has; thus, you probably have a good idea of the emotional toll that this romantic entanglement can take.

It is estimated that around 2/3 of all college students in the US have participated in an on-again off-again disaster.  Even though we know deep down that these relationships aren’t going to work, we consistently go back to them, fearing loneliness but hoping for change. Well, ladies and gents, I have revelation for you: the change ain’t comin.

According to University of Texas communications professor Rene Daily, couples regularly engaged in on-off relationships have more relational stress than stable couples. Shocking, I know. In college, this added stress could take a measurable toll on significant things like grades and friendships. Even the most patient friend can only listen to complaints of heartbreak over an on-again off-again relationship for so long. This friend has probably told you that you are better off without this person in question several times, and they are probably right. In many of these on-again off-again situations, the constant pursuit of this impossible relationship means that it is only a matter of time before you alienate those close to you. Think about it: have you ever been the friend who couldn’t stand listening any more?

My advice for those stuck in an on-off relationship is this: turn it OFF for good. Most of the time this involves making a clean break – no contact with this toxic person in any way. If you have mutual friends, make more one-on-one plans so that you can avoid group excursions. I’m sure these friends are as sick of this relationship as you are and will be willing to help you end it for good.  If you are on social networking sites, delete this person — no Facebook friendship or Twitter following allowed. Finally, delete their number off your cell phone. Remove all temptation to become on-again with your life.

For those of you who are waiting around for your partner to mature and change their ways: give up. No matter how hard you try, you cannot will another person to grow emotionally. You have to ask yourself, “is this relationship worth the emotional and physical toll that it is taking?” Consider why you are subjecting yourself to this roller coaster: are you mimicking a relationship that has influenced you in the past? Are you afraid of being alone? Do you feel as though no one else could feel romantic feelings for you?

If questions of self-esteem are at the core of your dilemma, you have to try to trust yourself. As someone who has been bitten by the on-off bug in the past, I can tell you that you will be much happier when the constant fighting and back and forth is out of your life. Yes, all break-ups suck, and for a time you will probably feel like hell but, once that is past you will probably be happier than you have been in a long while.

Relationship Facts from this post can be found at:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200803/domestic-drama-again-again

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122294921/abstract?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0

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• The Truth About Social Movements

The turtle is a sneaky and unrelenting character. The best of us have all been exposed to its wrath: getting “caught” by a roommate, forgetting a towel when showering in a communal bathroom . . . the list is truly endless. It seems to me that awkward situations are simply a part of collegiate reality; all we can do to make ourselves feel better is relish in the pain of one another and learn from our communal mistakes. After all, one man’s awkward situation is another man’s comedic gold.

My collegiate run-in with the awkward turtle occurred during my freshman year when BU placed me in a room with two sophomores who were already friends (clearly I was ecstatic). The girls, Kate* and Laura* were nice enough and we got along… until Laura started acting really distant and well, skanky. This caused a riff in the pre-existing sophomore friendship that automatically put me, the lowly freshman, in the middle. Our story climaxed when Laura revealed that she was moving out through a note taped to the TV (which was hers, of course). The move happened the following day while Kate and I hid at the frozen yogurt place across the street, making bitchy comments and watching Laura move out with the help of her minion followers. This seemingly never-ending game of cat and mouse wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, and there were things that all three of us involved in this situation should have done differently. Face to face confrontation would have been a good jumping off point that could also have spared my wallet the frequent trips to fro-yo. As far as I know, neither Kate nor myself has spoken to Laura since the incident occurred, paving the way for additional awkward run-ins throughout campus. It seems as though one can never avoid the ghosts of roommates past — especially when issues are left lingering.

For Regina*, (BU Grad 10’) running into the awkward turtle involved an unfortunate slip of the tongue. She explains, “Once I was doing a Grad presentation in a business class with a team and we were talking about packaged products. I was like ‘and now you’ll hear from Harrison whose going to show you his package’.” Clearly this presentation was meant to put more of an emphasis on frozen foods and less on poor Harrison’s private parts — but nonetheless, Regina was left feeling as though she has just become the inadvertent narrator of a porno. Although this situation may have left Regina’s ego a bit bruised, hilarity always helps to keep the situation light. When experiencing a slightly inappropriate slip of the tongue, laugh it off; give a little giggle, apologize, and continue on with your presentation like the professional that you are about to become. Handling a situation like this with grace can make you more likable to your classmates and show your professor a side of you that is both problem solving and charming. At the end of the day a case like Regina’s could actually work in your favor! Own your mistakes; everybody makes them.

Despite the universal nature of the awkward turtle, there are going to be times that you cannot resolve the issue on your own. Luckily for you, literature that gives advice on wiggling your way out of an awkward situation is plentiful, and such advice could be what makes the difference between a smooth comeback and a long-lasting feeling of regret (or shame). Although the site ‘The Ladders” is meant for giving career advice, author Marc Cenedella’s “6 Face-Saving Antidotes to Awkward Situations,” can easily be applied to student life.  Cenedella’s list may seem obvious; however, referencing it in a pinch- when we may not be thinking clearly- could be a source of both clarity and comfort.  The six antidotes include pieces of gold like: “ Never say ‘Well, this is awkward’.” This is a common mistake that I have personally experienced several times both on and off campus.  Although this statement may seem like an ice breaker, making the problem all the more obvious to the parties involved can easily increase the level of discomfort in the room. Sometimes we need to leave the pink elephant ALONE. Cenedella’s list also includes easy ways to get out of the situation like, “ Change the focus,” “Remove yourself,”  and my personal favorite, “Fake a phone call.” Be aware that faking a phone call involves a certain amount of finesse in order for it to be pulled off successfully. Even if you phone is on silent, the lack of any kind of vibrating ‘BUZZ’ scan give you away, making the situation worse. If you are the proud owner of an iPhone, which can vibrate on command through the push of an easily accessible button then you are golden: push away and run out of that room like your life depends on it, after giving a polite “excuse me, I have to take this,” of course.

More advice on quick exits from awkward situations can be found at the aptly named realsimple.com, where author Adam Bluestein provides us with ways to get out of more specific situations like answering a difficult question, fighting with a significant other, or a run-in with a former friend. The article, titled “Easy Ways to Exit Awkward Situations,” goes into depth on each of these startling situations the most applicable to college life being: “A Run-in with a Long-Lost ‘Pal’.” For this situation Bluestein explains that the easiest thing to do is feign enthusiasm without vaguely suggesting another meeting (lunch etc.). If this “Pal” is persistent in scheduling a meeting, he recommends that you do so on your own terms giving the example, “‘ I’d love to catch up on what you’re doing, but if we’re going to talk about that horrible personnel manager one more time, let’s call it off’.” There is no harm in meeting with the person once, if only to see if your opinion of them will change (just to give ‘em the benefit of the doubt).

When in an awkward situation keeps two things in mind: there is probably a way out of this and someone has always been through worse. After all, misery loves company.

The brilliant pieces of advice featured in this article can be found at:

http://www.theladders.com/career-advice/6-face-saving-antidotes-awkward-situations

http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/etiquette/sticky-situations/easy-ways-to-exit-awkward-situations-10000001683841/page10.html

*All names have been changed upon request of the parties involved.

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• That Awkward Moment When: The R-Rated Hypnotist Visits BU
• An American in Paris: Socially Awkward

Photo by flickr user Anonymous User

As much as the general public (and our parents) would like to believe that all of us here at BU are completely dedicated to our school work 100% of the time, the truth is that procrastination can get the best of all of us.  Personally, I am a firm believer that procrastination should never be a total waste of time (oxymoron, I know).  If we are going to take the focus off of actual work to surf the web we should make sure that we are having the time of our lives, or at least the time of our day.  Here are five sites that will ensure that your time spent procrastinating will be enjoyable, hilarious, and dare I say…. productive?

1. Drew Curtis’ Fark - Fark is an ingenious website that takes ridiculous news headlines from all over the world and infuses them with clever quips that never seem to get old. Procrastinating with the assistance of Fark will waste plenty of time while also keeping you somewhat informed on worldly events (WIN).  It may not be the type of education that BU has in mind for us, but it’s better than nothing! http://www.fark.com/

2. SketchSwap – I have a small confession to make about this site: there is really nothing about it that is productive or educational. It’s just fun – but sometimes all you need is a little fun to refresh your mind in between hours of studying or paper writing. Think of it as collegiate meditation.  On this site you are asked to draw a picture using your mouse or finger pad. When you are finished you can submit your drawing and you will receive a gift, a drawing made by another user. Consider this site a fun swapping of creative juices and enjoy it. Some of the response drawings you will get are truly hilarious. http://www.sketchswap.com/

3. LATFH – This site is only productive in the sense that it will ALWAYS make you feel better about who you are as a human being. Call it self-esteem morphine.  The site’s title, “Look at This F***ing Hipster,” says it all. Here you will find dozens of pictures featuring the most ridiculous members of the hipster movement, all for your enjoyment. I especially enjoy the “love connections.” Feel free to point and laugh, as they can’t actually hear you. http://www.latfh.com/

4. StumbleUpon — What’s great about this site is that it makes all of your procrastination time worthwhile, personalizing searches and bringing you directly to the sites that are most likely to tickle your pickle based upon answers that YOU gave in a survey on the introductory page.  In short, StumbleUpon makes your procrastination more efficient, as the site ensures that you will not spend your wasted time in a state of boredom, thereby forcing you to ask the question: is the time really wasted? (mind blowing, I know). http://www.stumbleupon.com/

5. eBay – An old standby worth returning to, eBay has recently become my procrastination site of choice, and a lucrative one at that.   Like many women my age, I have some designer bags and jewelry from years past that I have since grown out of. Sound familiar? Except for dealing with some occasional buyers who aren’t particularly nice people (few and far between, I assure you), I have made some money and gotten a jump on some much-needed spring cleaning. Why not procrastinate if you can make money off of it? http://www.ebay.com/

I hope this helps your adventures in the world on cyber space! Please feel free to leave comments with your favorite procrastination aids.

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Are you there, Cher? It's me, Sarah (photo by Flickr user MikeyWV)

As an iconic American performer, Cher is a woman known by all. In fact, we know some pretty intimate details about her life. However, very few of us appreciate the sound advice that her melodies and lyrics have to offer. College is a time in our lives when many of us are deeply involved in the dating game. We suffer through multiple break-ups, back-ons and variations of the word ‘commitment’ during our time on the college campus. As dating faux pas occur commonly on college campuses (often, embarrassingly enough, in public places), I offer you the words of Cher to curb your dating mishaps and to help you further enjoy your time in the college dating circuit.

“They say we’re young and we don’t know
We won’t find out until we grow
Well I don’t know if all that’s true
Cause you got me, and baby I got you”

These lyrics from the universally known “I Got You Babe” can teach us a thing or two about budding college relationships. The main thing is that the people around you probably won’t take it seriously at first (and considering the number of college relationships that last all of two weeks who can blame them?). Try to spend your time enjoying your new found romantic company while letting those naysayers remind you that you are still young, so this thing may not be set in stone (as Sonny and Cher weren’t). Enjoy the relationship without taking it or yourself too seriously, “Let’s see what happens” isn’t the worst thing a friend or loved one can say.

“I don’t know why I did the things I did
I don’t know why I said the things I said
Loves like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons they wound sometimes.”

Don’t be distracted by the thong and sailors in the video; Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time” can teach us to select our words carefully in a disagreement with our significant other as well as to admit when we are wrong. I have seen too many college relationships go through the harsh and pathetic cycle of breaking up and getting back together all in a 24-hour period. This is emotionally taxing and not at all worth the pain and suffering that it can cause. We should all take a look in the mirror when reading this page of the Code of Cher and make a conscious effort to up the level of foresight as well of maturity in all of our collegiate romantic encounters.

“What I am supposed to do
Sit around and wait for you
And I can’t do that
There’s no turning back
I need time to move on
I need love to feel strong
Cause I’ve had time to think it through
And maybe I’m too good for you.”

“Believe,” the club hit, has become a dance anthem for gay men around the world, and rightfully so! But they shouldn’t be the only ones benefiting from what it has to teach! Many a time in college, we will choose to date people within our own group of friends (BAD IDEA right off the bat, but, whatever). This can really complicate a breakup, as it doesn’t allow for the nice clean break that is so helpful in the process of mourning the relationship and then moving on in a timely manner. When we breakup with someone in our social circle we need to prepare ourselves for the moment when they move on (and YES it is entirely possible that they are going to be the first to do so). Don’t be the subject of Cher’s song, BE CHER: end the relationship, move on, and don’t let lingering bitterness get in the way of the happiness that you deserve!

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• Fine Art and Free Food: College Night At The MFA
• College Fashionista: Let’s Hear it for the Boys

Flickr user hehwood

As our exams and papers have for the most part ceased to rule our lives, we as students look towards spring break for fun and relaxation. Sitting on the floor of a public bathroom and puking isn’t my particular type of relaxation but I know that some of you disagree. Here are a few social rules to live by during spring break that will hopefully keep your dignity and your head out of the toilet.

1. Keep your bikini top ON.

I’m sorry ladies, but this also means no wet t-shirt contests. Flashing has become so MTV-1995. If you get into it you are shaming all of us and committing yourself to a life of being “that girl.” If you must let your shewolves out of their closet this week, do so in private and with someone that you have known for more than two hours.

2. Keep away the beer tears.

If you are out on spring break then that means that everyone around you is out to have fun. Nobody wants to put down their Captain Morgan and be the one to comfort the girl who has had a few too many and misses her cat. Lets make a general rule and keep it to a maximum of three shots – for everyone’s sake.

3. Don’t get a tattoo.

If it were any other time of year I would have no problem with you all getting inked in any place that your little hearts desire. HOWEVER, tattoo choices made on spring break are most likely not to end well; I’m picturing lots of butterflies and tramp stamps. So please, just wait out the week. If you still want the tattoo after the party has passed, then be my guest.

4.  Use a condom.

Spring break is quite possibly the worst time in the world for an unwanted child or an unwanted STI. Have plenty of fun, just don’t be stupid about it. It’s OKAY for girls to carry condoms too. It’s called being responsible.

5. Use sunscreen.

There is nothing less sexy than being the one inside rubbing massive amounts of lidocane on your crispy, peeling body. Don’t be ashamed to break out the SPF 35; it could easily save your vacation.

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Image from Flickr user thediablodispatch, MTV

Over the past few months America, especially the East Coast, has given the rest of the world a new reason to believe that we are a population of uneducated meatheads with loose moral standards and an unnatural obsession with hair product (as if we hadn’t been through enough already). Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: The Guidos. Thanks, “Jersey Shore.”

Although Guido originated in the United States as a derogatory term for the fairly numerous and at the time unwelcome Italian immigrants, it is now being embraced by a select group as part of their modern identity. According to David Tricario, a sociology professor at CUNY Queensborough, the term Guido is in fact, “a slur, but Italian kids have embraced it just as black kids have embraced the N-word. In the same way that radical gays call themselves queer.” Professor Tricario goes on to explain that the rise of the Guido subculture stemmed from the 1970s work of film star John Travolta and his roles in”Saturday Night Fever,” “Welcome Back Kotter,” and “Grease.” The Americans that now proudly refer to themselves a Guidos, or the feminine Guidettes, are young people of Italian heritage that tend to embrace the more manufactured side of life. Everything about these people is fake: hair, breasts and skin tone, to name a few. The Guido music of choice is often produced on a MacBook rather than an actual instrument and their style of dance only employs one very specific appendage (the fist; get your mind out of the gutter). It is also apparent that real first names are of meager significance among this group, as people are referred to by nonsensical nicknames: “The Situation,” for example, and my personal favorite, JWOWW.

Adding insult to injury, MTV, a once revolutionary musical television station, is guilty of creating this newfound global Guido-mania. The network is actually paying young members of this “cultural movement,” to take on the title of Guido and embrace it by promoting a lifestyle full of excessive alcohol intake, gravity-defying hair, and melanoma-inducing daily trips to the tanning salon. This image is just as forward-thinking as the popularly projected images of African American rappers carrying handguns and referring to women as, “bitches” and “hoes”; it turns the personal practices of some into stereotypes, and it should no longer be exploited for purposes of entertainment.

College students, including those attending Boston University, are embracing these disrespectful images of Italian Americans by throwing “Jersey Shore” themed parties complete with excessive use of bronzer and the occasional employment of a Bump-it. Arguments may be made that these parties are all in good fun; however, what few people realize is that dressing up like a Guido for entertainment is a basic, however less directly cruel, equivalent to a Vaudeville performer appearing in blackface and acting as a buffoon.

As Caryn Brooks of Time Magazine points out in her article, “Italian Americans and the G Word: Embrace or Reject,” MTV has had its fair share of controversy surrounding the use of the term Guido while promoting “Jersey Shore.” Dominos, the collegiate favorite pizza-by-delivery company, pulled its ads from the show after the term Guido appeared in promotions for it. MTV quickly changed the word to “roommates” in the commercial but still stood by the term Guido, stating that they would not deter the “roommates” from referring to themselves that way. Brooks highlights the ignorance of the cast members embracing this term by juxtaposing the opinion of “The Situation” with the opinion of Andre DiMino, president of the national Italian-American service organization. While “The Situation,” believes that the term Guido refers to a, “good looking Italian guy,” DiMino sees the term as, “‘a derogatory comment,’” explaining, “‘It’s a pejorative word to depict an uncool Italian who tries to act cool.’”

While some are offended by the show’s blatant use of the term Guido, others stand by the term and defend its history, arguing that the term in empowering rather than prejudiced. Irin Carmon, blogger for the popular site Jezebel.com posted a pro-Guido argument entitled, “Jersey Shore: On Beauty and Not Even Looking Italian.” This post was reposted by popular blog”Sociological Images” due to its rare albeit insightful take on the new found popularity of the term. Carmon argues that the term Guido is not pejorative at all, stating that it was developed by Italian Americans in order to define their own standard of beauty in a time when Marcia Brady was considered perfection. Carmon cites recent panel discussion held at Queens College as her evidence using arguments given by New York State Senator Diane Savino to prove the term Guido’s positive inflection. Savino points to “Saturday Night Fever” as a positive turning point for Guido culture, stating, “‘It changed the image for all of us,’” and referencing John Travolta’s white suit and slicked back hair as, “‘a way we [Italian Americans] could develop our own standard of beauty,’”(Carmon, 2010).

So does the term Guido perpetuate disrespect and prejudice, or reclaim a racially-charged word and empower its people?  At first, it seems that the self-proclaimed Guidos are following in suit of some African Americans’ practice of referring to one another by a certain term beginning with an “N”; however, the parallel isn’t so perfect in the year 2010. For example, “Italian American” is not even recognized as a category of race (though it has been in the past, as by eugenicists like Charles Davenport before WWII), and to claim that Italian Americans experience the same type of institutionalized racism as African Americans would be difficult (not to mention ridiculous and offensive). So why reintroduce Guido, a term soaked in outdated hatred and segregation, to supposedly honor an individual culture?

While some have embraced the image that goes along with the term Guido as culturally liberating, it is important that we focus on the fact that this image liberated Italian Americans when they were an unaccepted minority in the 1970s. Today, in 2010, we must remember that the term Guido is associated with an arguably irrelevant racial stereotype; it can be considered offensive to those who experienced racism or just create a new stereotype for those who don’t remember the old prejudices. In this day and age, Italian Americans are a well-integrated and even highly celebrated part of American society and are not in need of the negative publicity stemming from the alcohol-fueled antics of the “Jersey Shore” cast members.

Despite the recent confession that JWOWW and Snooki of “Jersey Shore” are not actually of Italian descent, the show, the negative image it projects, and the term Guido will not cease to be associated with Italian American culture until we as Americans stop supporting it; and maybe then we can focus on eradicating existing racial stereotypes instead of creating new ones.

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• Building Peace, Word by Word

Photo by Sarah Cox

Having lunch in BU Central every Tuesday and Thursday typically saves me from having to deal with the people handing out annoying fliers in the GSU. Seriously, I’m not going to use realtors that spend their time schlepping around college campuses when they should be showing apartments. Give it up already. But that is beside the point. This Tuesday, as I was eating my vegan noodles and minding my own business, I saw fliers and a giant chalkboard sign for an Anti-Valentine’s Day party to be held in BU Central this Saturday.

To be totally honest, I’m slightly disgusted that this party is even happening. Here I am, a junior in college, thinking that my peers are mature enough to be over the angst surrounding being alone on Valentine’s. Silly me for thinking that life is more than just a live action Cathy comic.

Aside from the general immaturity that seems to surface around Valentine’s Day, I am immensely disappointed in BU Central for encouraging this middle school behavior. People need to stop making an effort to show their bitterness against this holiday. It’s ridiculous. Even if you are not part of a couple, you have friends and family who probably love you (unless you are as bitter in general as you are about this holiday), and thus you have no reason to walk around feeling sorry for yourself. So no one is giving you a heart shaped cardboard box that is only going to lead to a stomachache at the end of the night. So sad.

Really, BU Central? Is there nothing better you can do with your time near Valentine’s Day? How about a fundraiser for heart disease research? This fundraiser would serve a purpose that would actually HELP PEOPLE rather than giving attention hungry students yet another reason to bitch and moan about their lives.

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• Anti-Domestic Violence, Pro-Peace: An Evening of Art

Think about it, people. How many friends to do you have who fight with their significant other at least once a week? If you don’t have that friend, it’s probably you.  Nobody wants to listen to you and your ill-suited boyfriend or girlfriend bicker and complain about each other. In case you haven’t noticed, this is a sure fire way to lose friends. If you need to bitch and complain about a person on a daily basis, get rid of them. Another big gripe I have with people in bad relationships: STOP FIGHTING IN PUBLIC! It’s just ridiculous and it makes everyone around you uncomfortable. If you are getting so mad at a person that you feel the need to scream at them in the middle of the street, you don’t belong together.

College students need to realize that their relationships now will most likely not determine the rest of their lives. Date someone during the years that you truly enter adulthood does not mean that it is a good idea to spend the rest of your life with that person. The definition of a NORMAL relationship seems to be slightly skewed with most people of collegiate age, so, here are a few things that are NOT normal (and that indicate that you need to break up):

1. Fighting once a week or more (especially in public).

2. Reaching out to friends only to complain about the person you are dating.

3. Losing contact with friends entirely (this means they are avoiding you).

4. Someone cheats (EVEN IF THEY/YOU WERE DRUNK) – it’s over; give it up!

5. You don’t like the person you are dating as a human being.

I know number five really seems like common sense but believe me, it’s an issue. I can think of two people off the top of my head that I’ve dated and didn’t actually like as human beings for a least a month before I finally took the steps to end the relationship.

People of all ages, but especially young people, have the tendency to stay in relationships for comfort rather than for happiness. They feel more secure being in a relationship, but also more miserable than they do being single and happy. This false sense of security can damage other relationships in your life, including those with friends who won’t want to see you if you are constantly upset over fights and family members who won’t trust you to make wise relationship choices in the future.

Don’t be afraid to reevaluate your current situation and dump someone if they are clearly making you miserable.

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• A Cheapskate’s Guide to Boston: Winter Break

Photo by Flickr user Radboiz

Fesbian = Fake Lesbian; A  female (often in the public eye) pretending to be of homosexual orientation for personal gain.

As we continue on our path through the twenty-first century the members of the LGBT community are slowly but surely gaining the civil rights that straight couples have enjoyed throughout history. However, total equality does not seem to be in the near future. The passing of Proposition 8 in the state of California has set a standard for other states to withhold or relinquish their own legislation for marriage equality (Hello, Maine). Aside from the religious aspect of the argument against gay marriage, various social issues seem to be preventing progress in the struggle for fair legislation. In our society members of the LGBT community are often not taken seriously. They are depicted in the media as flamboyant or butch caricatures and are often seen as the butt of jokes rather than contributing members of society.

It is a strong belief of mine that the actions of people in the public eye are a huge part of the American lack of respect for gay minorities. Young actresses especially seem to be the under the impression that coming out as lesbian or bisexual is an instant fix for a lack of publicity. Lindsay Lohan for example, has been in very public and very rocky relationships with both men and woman. Her recent antics involving drug use, DUI charges, and a stint in rehab have been followed by the ceaseless public stalking of her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson. By coupling her sexual preference with her promiscuous and irresponsible behavior, Lindsay Lohan is giving lesbians and bisexual women a bad name. She is promoting the idea that homosexuality is a lifestyle embraced by those who are both unstable and desperate for attention. Lohan continues to use her now dissolved relationship with Ronson to promote her fame on an almost daily basis, turning to Twitter to reveal details of their never ending breakup as well as to refute tabloid claims regarding their relationship. Lindsay Lohan is the worst Fesbian of them all.

Although we can all agree that Lindsay is a hot mess, the title of  most ridiculous Fesbian goes to the likes of the hottest trailer trash to hit Hollywood this decade, Megan Fox. Miss Fox claims bisexuality; however, her particular branch of bisexuality comes with a catch. According to The Sun, Fox explicitly states that she would never have sex with another bisexual woman, explaining that she thinks men are dirty. SERIOUSLY? These outlandish remarks don’t make sense. She won’t sleep with a woman who has slept with a man but she WILL allow a “dirty” MAN to physically enter her body? Foxy here is marketing bisexual women as fickle children who simply can’t make up their minds.   Am I really the only person who is calling BULL on this?

In my opinion, members of the LGBT community need to unite against these elaborate naysayers in order to gain the civil rights that they crave and deserve. Coming out should be a significant steppingstone in a person’s life, NOT a ruse for media attention. By making spectacles of their alleged sexuality these actresses are going beyond the realm of spreading awareness and are subsequently denying the LBGT community the respect that it deserves. They are also leading young and impressionable American women to believe that experimenting with their sexuality for attention (the WRONG reason) goes without repercussions. Pretending to be bisexual or lesbian only for attention is a serious offense that can easily hurt the feelings of a person that is actually gay or bi. Coming out in this manner is selfish and harmful both to the individuals involved in the charade as well as to society as a whole. Women as a population should have more RESPECT for themselves as individuals and for the LGBT community. Exploitation of something as serious as sexual preference for personal gain should not be taken lightly.

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Image by Sarah Cox

Over this all-too-short holiday break, I reached a milestone in my current relationship: meeting the parents. This meeting was not only dinner; it was the whole nine yards of the awkward family intro experience and included travel time, a weekend stay, and meeting the WHOLE family all at one time. For many of us this situation can be a social nightmare. The train ride there consisted of a mild panic attack as my time was spent obsessing over the all-important first impression. Despite the anxiety and obsessive nail-biting, the meet and greet turned out OK and so, I have taken it upon myself to share some advice based on my experience and showcase some meeting-the-family stories heard around campus.

One big thing everyone should to do when meeting the Parents is to arrive early. This can be a great de-stress tactic in any situation. At a restaurant you can sit, calm down and get accustomed to your surroundings while you wait for the dreaded guests of honor. In my case, however, the meeting took place at the house and on Christmas day. Talk about pressure. Amtrak made the situation all the more awkward because the train schedule didn’t allow boyfriend and me to arrive until around 7pm. In an effort to be nice, his mother pushed back dinner for us. However, this also set the stage for an arrival into a house full of very hungry strangers (a.k.a. rabid wolves). The atmosphere of near starvation didn’t bode well for me as introductions were either rushed or skipped entirely in favor of attacking the dinner table like Regina George in the cafeteria scene in “Mean Girls.” Moral of the story: being introduced as the “reason for your hunger,” does not typically bode well. Take note.

During the anxiety-filled introductions, one move that turned out well was the idea of bringing gifts. Bringing something to the gathering (holiday or not), whether it be a small gift or something for dessert, shows generosity and effort. It sends the message that you care about what your significant other’s family thinks of you. HOWEVER, the act of bringing something to the meet and greet is not without its risks. Choose wisely, Grasshoppers. Although it may seem like an obvious choice, NEVER BRING BOOZE. Come to think of it, when meeting the parents, try to avoid alcohol all together.  You may say or do something that you will regret. Christine Turkington (SMG ’10) experienced this very problem when meeting the flesh and blood of a former flame. As with many social occasions, booze was involved in this meet and greet, and let’s just say that the mother of the flame got a little sauced. Christine explains, “His mom got drunk and dropped the remote into the piano. She then decided that I should fish it out as I had the littlest hands.” Take this as a lesson ladies and gents. Don’t bring/indulge in the booze during a first meeting; you may just wind up elbow deep in a baby grand.

For those of you who are planning on introducing your significant other to your own parents, I offer this uncomplicated yet mind-blowingly significant piece of advice: PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE. Seriously, any and all weird things your parents might do to scare off the person you are with needs to be thought of and planned for. For example, anyone who is meeting my parents for the first time needs to be warned about the dogs. My mother, as wonderful as she may be, has a soft spot for her two Cavalier King Charles Spaniels that is comparable to the size of Kim Kardashian’s hindquarters. This results in the dogs being allowed on the furniture, including (at times) the dining room table. Sometimes they sit quietly and other times they make a beeline for your dumplings. Even those coming over for any amount of time that will involve so much as a potato chip needs to be warned. Non-animal lovers should simply stay away.

When boys go over to meet the parents of Jeanz Holt (CAS ’11) they may not want to comment on the interior decoration. When asked if she had any meeting-the-parents stories, Jeanz told the tale of an ex who, in an effort to keep the conversation flowing, asked about a, “decorative thing” on the mantle. This friendly effort to be social turned into something that could be ripped from the pages of a Ben Stiller script, minus the cat pee. Jeanz explains, “Turns out the decorative thing is my Dad’s old opium pipe from his wild youth, and my Dad spent the next 20 minutes giving us a tutorial on how to smoke opium. My boyfriend was stunned.” Many people would find this situation entertaining and Sherlock Holmes would be proud, but one can easily understand how it that could be startling during a first meeting with the parents, as it makes the boundaries of conversation less than elementary. One might go into a situation like this reminding his or herself not to mention that-crazy-thing-I-did-last-night and by the end of the night be questioning if this would be entertaining dessert conversation.

My golden rule for meeting the parents is this: keep it PG. If the night takes a PG-13 turn then go with it; it could be fun. Just be careful not to venture into R rated territory. Nobody wants to witness that.

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As per usual for the holiday season, my mother, the commonly known queen of Chrismakah, pulled out all the stops and blew me away with the greatest gifts I have ever received. This year, the gift that really lit my Yule log was my Amazon Kindle. At first, I was worried that, as with my Furby, my love affair with my Kindle would be brief. HOWEVER, I have read three full books since Christmas as have shown no signs of stopping. This skinny little device has benefited me in more ways than one during the holiday break and I thought that you should all be reaping the benefits of the Kindle as I have been.

The first advantage of the Kindle that I would like to point out is its financial efficiency. Although the Kindle sells on Amazon for almost three hundred dollars, it is a purchase that will pay for itself in the future! For example, Kathy Griffin’s new book, which can be purchased on Amazon in print for $16.50, was only $9.99 on my Kindle. Although this is a seemingly meager savings, for me, it has added up and thus far I have purchased upwards of five books and have saved a total of about $30.00 and growing. This benefit can be reaped specifically by students as TEXTBOOKS ARE AVAILABLE ON THE KINDLE.  Since this addition to the Kindle is still new, there are only limited numbers of textbooks available. But, Amazon is promising to fix this issue as you can search a book on their site and request that the publisher release a Kindle edition of this book. So far I have only been able to buy one textbook for spring term on the Kindle, but it has allowed me to save about fifteen dollars on the book, which, in a recession, is totally worth it! Purchase of a Kindle may be more instantly rewarding for students in English and Literature-based majors, as many of their books don’t fall into the textbook category. Another great way to save money with the Kindle while becoming an increasingly influential member of society is through newspaper and magazine subscriptions. All Kindle Newspaper subscriptions come with a 14-day free trial and all are at a very abbreviated price. The Boston Globe can be wireless sent to you every morning for a month for $9.99 while regular home delivery costs $24.52 a week, and that price only lasts for your first twelve weeks subscribing!

Aside from the wonderful financial perks of owning a Kindle, there are many practical benefits. First, the Kindle is small and skinny enough to be carried in almost any purse (except a clutch but typically, you aren’t reading at events that require a clutch). While toting your Kindle you can be carrying around multiple books without putting a strain on your back and shoulders and without angering your fellow T riders by bringing on a giant, heavy bag. Saving money and increasing comfort sounds like a Win-Win to me.

One complaint that I have about my beautiful Kindle is the lack of a backlight. Although the screen has been made totally matte as not to strain your eyes (which I appreciate) I would love to be able to read with my kindle in the dark places like in bed or on a bus. Amazon does sell a clip on reading light for the Kindle online; however having a backlight would make the most useful thing I own (besides my beautiful Mac) significantly more useful.

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