1. Farting. Although queefing is generally acceptable in bed, scatological functions? Total no-no. If your girl has no sense of gas humor, this is the best way to gross them out. Brownie points (hehe) for letting a super huge wet one rip right as you start your business. If you’re a girl, any type of fart will probably stave off future visits, a la Carrie in Sex and the City.

2. Name-calling. Now, there’s nothing wrong with LGBT love, but for straight couples, there’s nothing more horrendous than a girl making sweet, sweet love to a guy only to have him shout out “OH YES STEEEEVE!” This one definitely works better for the guy, but calling your man “Nancy” during peak love-time will surely make him squirm.

3. Peeing. Remember how your parents would yell at you for wetting the bed when you were younger? Forget EVERYTHING they taught you and just go nuts. If you’re worried about getting your clothes wet, simply shed them and have a field day when the other person is in the bed. Guys, feel free to write your name in pee on the girl’s body. Girls, asking a guy to pee inside of you will probably creep him out.

4. Bring God into it. As long as you’re not dating some crazy religious fanatic, this is a good way to creep somebody out. Feel free to get creative with this one – say a prayer before sex, during, and after. Sub in wacky euphemisms in your prayers for sex, i.e.: “Dear God, Thank you for letting me get honky tonky with ________, who is so down and dirty I want to scream.” (Following up with a real scream earns you bonus break-up points).

5. Get in touch with your inner hippie. Saving the environment and advocating civil rights is totally cool and all, but what happens when you bring your views into the bedroom? Make your bed with construction paper, apologizing for the coarseness but saying the material lasts for up to 7 years without washing and you’re on the 6th year. Sprinkle the pillows with dead leaves instead of rose petals. Bonus points for bringing moss and plants into foreplay when you know your partner has a mold and grass allergy.

6. Celebrate Halloween everyday. Old Hallow’s Eve provides an endless list of ideas to literally scare someone away. Insist on trick-or-treating at their neighbors’ every evening in the nude as a warm-up. Follow this stunt with a ghost fetish reenactment by cutting holes in your nice sheets and throwing them over their head while getting down and dirty. Demand that he fulfill your needs at the nearest graveyard at midnight, bringing a black cat to complete the spooky atmosphere. Dump a pillowcase of empty candy wrappers over his or her head as they try their gosh-darnedest to please you.

7. Girls: Reenact Sex and the City. Very few straight males appreciate this now-defunct HBO premium series. In fact, merely mentioning Carrie Bradshaw’s sexual antics will send guys away screaming. Use this to your advantage, ladies. Spend the first half of the night playing Sex and the City Trivia Game before suggesting moves you learned from Cynthia Nixon’s character. Pull a Charlotte and freak out about not having kids rightthissecond and get a small dog named after a pretty actress to compensate. Lastly, pull a freakishly weird sex fetish move vis-a-vis slutty Samantha before touting it as the newest trend (feel free to refer to above ideas).

8. Don’t get fancy, just get dancey. Take a lesson from P!nk and use your slick, slick moves in bed. No, I’m not talking about drawing ideas from the grindtastic college lifestyle of partying. I’m talking about full-on dancing to the Macarena while your significant other tries to seriously engage in lovin’. Try a new aerobics dance routine, or pull out some moves you learned from your friend’s Bar Mitzvah in seventh grade. When questioned, reply that you forgot to workout today and whatever he or she has planned tonight simply won’t cut it.

9. Forget to groom. ‘Nuff said.

There’s a solid starting list for driving someone away. Feel free to comment with your own wacko nut-job ideas to give someone a subtle hint that they’re just not right for you.

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Photo courtesy of Flickr user ChepeNicoli

We all know the health benefits of wearing condoms instead of barebacking during sex. They protect us from the transferring some STIs, shield us from the horrors of childbirth (literally), and make the post-coital cleanup process waaaay less messy. But not all condoms are created equal. If you’re choosing to use this latex barrier to cut down on sexual safety hazards, you might as well don the best of the best to make your experience the best ever. If you’re spending $15 on a box anyway, why not splurge a few extra bucks and get the top of the line? Check out the thinnest, bumpiest, and most erotic condoms the market offers to make your bedroom the new playroom.

1. Crown Skinless Skin Condom – Despite what the name infers, these condoms are made out of latex — NOT actual epidermis. If you like the au natural feeling, this weightless condom boasts an epically small 0.00181 inch thickness of material. With odorless and colorless latex, you’ll get the organic experience while guarded from copulation-related peril. $5.95/12-pack.

2. Beyond Seven Studded Condom – Alright, this one sounds scary. But forget the images of Hot Topic- inspired belts and accessories–the “studs” are simply raised bubbles that circulate the condom’s surface. These bubbles subtly rub against those  involved to provide a ripple sensation, through and through. For the BDSM amateurs, this rubbers provides a perfect opportunity to introduce some play in the bedroom without breaking out the whip. $6.99/12-pack.

3. Durex Her Sensation Condom – Ladies: get excited. Tons of condoms are dedicated to pleasuring you and only you. Thankfully, Durex is a widespread brand easily accessible in most drugstores. These condoms sport specially-placed ribs near the bottom of the shaft on the condom to reach not only the inside of the vagina, but also brush up against outer sensual bits like the clitoris. $6.00/12-pack.

Photo: nightlightcondoms.com.

4. Flavored Condoms – Everyone knows that using condoms for oral sex is as rare as Tiger Woods going a month without banging some new boobtastic blonde. But for the gals and guys that simply abhor the taste of mouth-on-skin and the salty flavor of the inevitable happy ending, flavored condoms can introduce a fun way to get a silly sucking on. Prices vary.

5. Night Light Condoms – Scared of the dark but still like sex? Someone out there must feel the same way you do because they invented glow in the dark condoms. Wait, let me just repeat that – Glow. In. The dark. CONDOMS. These luminescent playthings promise to “add some light” to your carnal life with high-quality latex to reduce any risks.

Trojan Her Pleasure Condoms. Photo: theprivatepharmacy.com.

$12.81/6-pack.

6. Trojan-Enz Spermicidal Lubricant Condoms – After the list stated above, a simple lubricating condom sounds a bit outdated and, well, boring. But never underestimate the power of a simple wet condom. The water-based solution that coats the surface area provides both partners with an easy entrance, as well as less irritation caused by friction of the condom’s exterior against both partners’ skin. Plus, extra spermicides reduce any risks as you get down and dirty with that special someone (or one-night stand… hey, we don’t judge). $24.81/two 36-packs.

7. Lifestyles X2 Condom – As if lubricated condoms could get any better, they did: instead of simply leaving the outer layer coated with lubricant, guys can now enjoy the warm and wet sensation with a condom that is lathered both inside AND out. Both partners experience multiple levels of comfort and joy as friction becomes no longer an issue. $3.99/3-pack.

8. Female Condom – That’s right; it’s exactly what it sounds like. This condom is a different contraceptive all together, and fits inside the vagina instead of over the penis. Though they’re not widely used these days,  female condoms work well for vaginal intercourse, females looking for protection during oral sex and can be worn by the recipient of anal sex too. Wild!
$12.01/10-pack

9. Trojan Twisted Pleasure Condom – Breaking out of the mold by introducing a bulb-shaped head laden with seemingly randomly dispersed lines (similar to ribbed condoms) in diagonal angles, this condom is as sure to surprise as it is to please both partners. $13.16/three 12-count boxes.

With the market (and sexual fetishes) expanding every day, it’s pretty tough to claim that no condoms exist for your purpose in the bed (or wherever else you like to get nasty…). Sensuality, excitability and taste cannot stand in the modern book of excuses for not wearing a condom. So if you’ve got a hunkering to play it safe between the sheets, you certainly don’t have to play it tame.

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Has this ever happened to you? | Photo by Nicole Cousins.

You wake up with a crushing headache and slight nausea from the 12 beers you sucked down the night before. You find yourself presented with a room that looks foreign to you – the Shaq poster hung with mishap on the wall, the plaid bedspread, a Dell laptop on the desk (you shudder to think anyone still uses a PC). Upon further investigation, you discover last night’s outfit piled on the floor, and then crane your head to view the crowning glory: a stranger’s tousled hair peeks out behind the sheets you both lay on.

If this has ever happened to you, you’re not alone.

If this has never happened to you… well, you obviously have not experienced college yet.

After getting over the initial shock that, yes, you might have very well gotten a little toooo drunk last night and found time in between dancing on the beer pong table and dropping your Blackberry into the toilet to let some other drunk and horny stranger woo you into casual oral foreplay, the real fun starts: parading down the infamous walk of shame.

Remember, there’s not reason to actually be ashamed by a walk of shame (dirty-look givers are probably just hiding their jealousy, and what’s wrong with a little safe, consensual fun?). But if you’re looking to fool friends, family and innocent random passers-by into believing you enjoyed a quiet night in at your own place minus some sporadic raunchy heavy petting, follow my guide to WOS-proof your wild nights for a sensible and responsible morning.

GIRLS

1)    Plan ahead. If you know that you will end your night with some “omg sooooo cute hottie” you met at that sick ZBT party last weekend, go ahead and pack a small bag to ease your morning shame (disguise your intentions with a small to medium sized purse). Throw in your toothbrush to rid your mouth of the stank that defines morning breath – but don’t worry about toothpaste (unless your partner is one of the cavemen from the Geico commercials, you’ll find a tube o’ paste laying around in the bathroom somewhere). If you have room, throw in a pair of shorts and tank top for the next day so you won’t have to flaunt a purple glitter tunic with leggings Sunday morning. Feel free to also pack a sample of deodorant, a small bottle of body spray and a pair of flip-flops or flats to change into post-heels for a less awkward (and painful) walk home.

2)    Prepare your wardrobe. For those looking for a one-night shindig but loathe carrying an overnight bag to a cramped frat party or a sweaty downtown club, don’t get your panties in a bunch. Invest in a portable wristlet, preferably with an extra outside compartment. Opt for an outfit like skinny jeans with a blouse – the jeans provide extra pocket room to store your phone and belongings. Scalp your wallet and salvage the bare essentials: $20 in cash, your debit and credit card, MBTA pass, and ID. If you wear contacts, pre-fill an empty case with contact solution and close tightly, thus insuring your eyes will not suffer from redness tomorrow.  Throw in a sample packet of Advil, a small tube of perfume, and a few pieces of gum. If you feel like gussying up in heels, stick with a pair that aren’t outrageously high (no more than 2 inches) and choose a casual top that can be dressed up with accessories.

3)    Keep an eye on your stuff. Don’t learn this lesson the hard way after sporting a tablecloth to a toga party, stowing your overnight bag away under a bathroom sink, and getting too bombed to sequentially remember where you put said belongings. The most likely result: walking to the train stop on a rainy October morning in booty shorts and a tank top after wheedling $2 for the ride off your one-night-beau. Ask your hook-up to find a safe place to store your coat, bag, and other things; not only will you have peace of mind, but another person knows your stash-place in case of drunken memory lapses.

4)    Beware of costumes. For the love of God, know what you’re getting into when you spend the night away during Halloween celebrations. It might seem spontaneously sexy to nail the guy dressed as The Situation or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle at the time, but consider running across campus in a Superman cape and costume to make a 10am exam the morning after.

GUYS

1)    Get dressed post-coitus and look in the mirror. If you spot a hickey, pop up your collar. Thank you, double standards.

Stick with these tips, and you’ll be sure that your steamy night before isn’t written all over your face the next morning in front of people you don’t know.

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Madison Young poses in a vintage yellow wedding dress. Photo by Ellen Stagg, Oakland, CA. www.staggstreet.com.

Most American women in their 30s spend their work days sitting in a cubicle, scrambling to prepare for office-wide meetings, and rushing to get their daily quota of work submitted to The Boss.

Madison Young is not most women. She opts for skimpy lingerie over frumpy business clothes, a video camera over an Excel spreadsheet and strap-ons over sticky notes. Madison Young, who turns 30 in September, is a renowned award-winning pornography actor and director who also describes herself as an activist, author, and educator.

Most professional women cannot claim a resume as impressive as Madison’s: The self-identified queer San Francisco resident has directed 24 films to date and starred in over 100 films since 2002. Madison started her career in the adult industry at the age of 22 after starting a theater major from Columbia College in Chicago and transferring to Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Originally from Loveland, Ohio, Madison fell in love with the city of San Francisco after starting a gallery there as part of an art internship for her Antioch degree, eventually abandoning the completion of this degree to focus on her gallery.

“I’ve always been an artist, a queer, a sexual outlaw seeking connection with others that view the world differently and express themselves in an honest visceral and uncensored manner,” Madison said in an email. “Sex for me is another form of physical and visual expression just as art is.”

Widely known for her erotic BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism – think whips, chains, and leather) films, Madison embraces all varieties of porn, acting in any film that she “relates to” and finds “sexually satisfying.” However, she speculates that she has achieved the most fame for her lesbian-oriented and painfully graphic work because it falls into a marketable subculture. “I think I’m best known in the queer and bdsm porn scene as they are smaller niche markets and because I’m a lifestyle bdsm player who likes to show authentic bdsm and orgasmic experiences with the camera,” she said.

Madison is a sight for sore eyes in her black latex dress. Photo by Steve Diet Goedde, Los Angeles, CA. www.stevedietgoedde.com.

Apart from her work in the pornography industry, Madison declares herself as a feminist. From the money she makes on her films and website, Madison funds her feminist art gallery, Femina Potens. “I see the work that I do in the adult industry as an extension of my activist work that helps to document part of our sexual culture and create visibility for alternative sexuality,” she said.

Madison isn’t the only one who recognizes her feminist side: she has won four times at the Feminist Porn Awards, taking this year’s Best Bisexual Movie for “Fluid 2: Men Redefining Sexuality.” “I’m truly so very happy with ‘Fluid 2: Men Redefining Sexuality’ and think it is incredibly important to create films that show the complexity of gender and sexuality and portray performers and multidimensional sexual beings,” she said. “The Feminist Porn Awards are so crucial to the recognition and inspiration of sex positive directors everywhere and no one else is really giving this kind of recognition to erotic films that have some kind of social significance.”

Although starring in over 100 films in less than 9 years would make anyone’s head spin, Madison takes the time to carefully screen performers for her films. She prefers to elect her friends or past coworkers whom she has “found to give hot authentic performances,” and describes the best quality in an actor as “an ability to open themselves up to a vulnerable state and share themselves openly and honestly with another person and the camera.” However, when she shoots new performers without another half, she pulls out all the stops to match them with their best counterpart.

“I love shooting couples but if the person doesn’t have another half to shoot with I talk with them about qualities that they find hot in other people and who they are attracted to,” she explained. ” After we find a couple potential matches I connect the performers online and suggest that they meet for coffee.  Sometimes I will help to facilitate a discussion between the two performers.  I also talk with the performer about what kind of fetishes they might have or rooms they like to have sex in.”

Sorry, but our hands are tied when it comes to showing photos of Madison racier than this on the BUQuad. Photo by Emilie Jouvet, Berlin, Germany. http://www.emiliejouvet.com. Rope Artist - Sadie Lune - www.sadielune.com.

Madison is also proud of her 5-year relationship with www.kink.com performer and director James Mogul. She has been partnered with the same man, James Mogul, for five years. She says James has supported all of Madison’s endeavors – whether it be managing her gallery, reaching a higher education, or pursuing a career in pornography. Her immediate family has also tried to understand Madison’s alternative life choices: her sexual tendency for both genders, her rejecting meat as an edible food group, and her work performing in BDSM films are just a few. “I’ve always been honest with my immediate family so they have had 8 years to adjust to my career choices,” she said. ”I’ve always given them something challenging to deal with that was out of the norm from the rest of the family in Ohio from my vegetarian lifestyle, politics, queer identity, and sex work. I’ve tried to inform my mom and keep her in the loop as much as possible which I think really helps.”

Overall, Madison’s main message is the same one that health care providers, sexuality educators and women’s-advice magazines reiterate throughout America: communication in sex is key.

“I think that the reason that there is so much static and controversy around pornography and sex is miseducation and fear of what we don’t know or don’t understand,” she said. “Be honest and communicate with your partner. Know your body and figure out what it enjoys through masturbation so you can communicate your bodies likes/dislikes and desires/fantasies to your partner. There is no reason to have shame around your sex or your body.  Your partner loves being with you because you are you, and you are sexy.”

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Most strip clubs are known for their smoky, seedy atmospheres, where the male clientele stare hungrily at the female dancers and the stripper lead sad, vacuous lifestyles outside of their work. But Rori Gordon, 54, sees to it that her gentleman’s club operates differently.

“I refuse to let my girls look like trash,” she states bluntly. “I don’t allow them to chew gum, they can’t talk on their cell phone – they can’t even have their cell on when they’re in the building.”

Catering to a large college community in New York, Gordon sees to it that her Long Island strip club, Billy Dean’s Showtime Cafe, gains a reputation as a fun, lively, youth-driven bar that happens to showcase girls wearing g-strings and mere nipple covers, rather than a stereotypical and alienating strip club.

“We draw a huge college crowd,” Gordon says. “It’s a very fun, lively, light atmosphere.”

Appalled by my previously written article about a visit to Mac’s Two Lounge in North Billerica, Gordon happily spoke to me to set the record straight: not all strip clubs function like Mac’s Two. While I felt alienated by my gender in a male-dominated club at Mac’s Two, Gordon revels in the fact that “her girls” light up at the chance to dance for women.

The bar at Billy Dean's, aglow with neon light. Picture from myspace.com/billydeansgirls.

“My girls are so excited when a girl wants a dance,” she laughs. “Girls love dancing for girls – they’re all about the experience, whereas guys… well, I don’t know what the guys are thinking!”

Gordon also takes pride in her club’s showmanship. After finding that hot oil wrestling fared well with both male and female audiences, she made it a regular staple at the crowded college weekend hangout.

“It’s audience participation,” she says. “Guys have the opportunity to get on stage and oil down the girls. They take buses from all over – Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey.”

After spending her teen years pumping gas to make money, Gordon tried bartending, working in hotel, and nightclub management before taking her boyfriend and coworker, the namesaked Billy Dean, on the road as a mobile show. Although she enjoyed traveling and performing across the country, Gordon found being at the mercy of someone else’s venue too frustrating.

“I said, ‘I can’t be put in this position anymore,’” she says. “To work this hard for someone to tell me, ‘No, there’s no show tonight’.”

Teaming up with Dean as her business partner, Gordon bought a venue in North Bellmore, New York and originally hired male dancers. But in 2005, Gordon realized that the real market was in hiring female dancers. So that’s exactly what she did, and Billy Dean’s has seen prosperous success in doing so.

Billy Dean's girls dress up for Easter 2010. Photo from myspace.com/billydeansgirls.

Acting as one of the only known female strip club co-owners in the country, Gordon likes to think her gender works positively in her workplace.

“That’s why some people make it and some don’t – they want to chase girls, but I like boys,” she says of her managerial tactics. “It makes it very difficult as a female with male customers. Imagine working with someone who’s constantly hitting on you. I wont stand for that.”

On top of running her club like a tight ship, Gordon personally interviews most of the girls auditioning to become a dancer.

“I like to hire the girls because I believe I make them feel more comfortable,” she explains. “My partner is good at hiring also, but he’s a guy.”

Gordon attributed some of her club’s success to her 18 to enter, 21 to drink policy, rather than slapping a 21+ blanket age restriction on her club.

“If I had a bachelor party, a group of 20 people, and one nephew is 19 years old, they’re coming to me because I will let them in,” she says. “It’s one of the keys to our success.”

Although Rori Gordon runs a tight ship at Billy Dean's, she likes to cut loose and have fun too! Photo from facebook.com.

However, the majority of Billy Dean’s clientele falls in the 21 and over bracket, as the club gets expensive for broke college students who can’t drink.

“We charge for two sodas upfront, and a seven dollar cover charge, so that’s already $16 at the door,” she explains. “Then they buy a dance for $20, and tip the girls… he’s in the hole for $50 without batting an eye. But college kids and working kids who are living at home have expendable dollars.”

With an extensive surveillance system and a security guard, Gordon very rarely has to worry about rowdy safety-related incidents.

“Ive been here for 12 years, and have called the police only three times,” she says. “It’s so mellow and so cool. It’s more like a local bar with dancers.”

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Photo from afatkidlovecake.blogspot.com.

We’ve all seen the depictions of strip clubs on TV and in the movies: gorgeous naked girls seductively dance and twirl, showcasing their perfect bodies for the pleasure of the male clients. Any “Sopranos” fan will find him or herself familiar with the bimbo but beautiful Bada Bing girls, and remember that the mobsters passed their time at the seedy strip club surrounded by these girls clad only in g-strings.

However, the media has given a bad rap for these gentlemen’s clubs, mostly depicting them as sketchy, dirty, and sinful. With an attachment to visions of lines of coke and solicited prostitution, strip clubs remain easy targets pockets of sin. The clubs call up images of a smoke-filled atmosphere with cheap neon lights, where male has-beens stare at naked chicks to fulfill their meaningless lives, and the dancing women sport nothing but thongs to make a few quick bucks to support their lives as single mothers or broke college students.

Movies like “Showgirls” and “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” portray the other publicized side of strip clubs: the romantic vision of gyrating, pole-dancing eroticism. Amateur dancer Nomi Malone in “Showgirls” eagerly learns seductive dance moves in hopes of working her way up to the most celebrated nude show in Las Vegas. The movie follows her journey from a cabaret-style stripper to a high-class show lead, playing up Nomi’s dream to become a famous nude dancer. Meanwhile, the depressingly pessimistic character Drew in “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” finds a glimmer of hope of finding love when he meets the exotically attractive stripper Lara. After title character Tucker Max pays Lara to engage in a battle of wits with Drew, he goes home with her to play video games and endearingly teaches her son some crucial army men tactics. The screenplay shines light on the fact that, hey: strippers are people, too.

As a (self-declared) average female college student, I decided to check out what the strip club scene was all about. Boston houses numerous gentleman’s clubs, but most of them only let in 21-and-overs. Those of us who are 20 and younger have to make the half-hour trip out to Mac’s Two Lounge in North Billerica, the closest 18+ club to the Boston University area. I made the trek with my boyfriend and his two roommates, all of whom have been to the club either of their own accord or for a fraternity bonding experience — so, they knew the scene, and were pretty tickled to introduce me to the lounge.

Mac's Two Lounge in North Billerica. Photo from petertips.blogspot.com.

After paying the $10 cover charge and forking over $5 for the one-drink limit (being 18+, Mac’s is a strict juice bar with no alcohol), I took a look around. As I walked into the club, I noticed that I definitely stood out: I was the only girl (other than the manager and cocktail waitress, both in their middle ages) wearing a full outfit. If I had worn a skimpy butt-baring bikini and 8-inch platform heels, I would have fit in much more with the majority of the club’s female population. The stage was set up to the right of the entrance, with the obligatory pole standing in the middle and a bar with seats surrounding the stage floor. Numerous tables were laid out with a plain view of the bar, with step-staired floors giving the club a stadium-seating-esque approach.

After landing a seat at the bar, I noticed that the etiquette of tipping consisted of folding a dollar bill into a tent-like shape and leaving it on the bar table (which was level with the stage floor) for the dancer to come over. Different dancers have different habits: the girl that I tipped, a voluptuous brunette with tattoos snaking up and down her side, took the dollar before leaning over to gently moan in my ear and shove my head between her breasts. She leaned back, danced in my area for a few seconds, and then proceeded to the next customer.

My being a woman and a paying customer didn’t seem to throw the dancer for a loop – she went ahead and gave me the same sexy treatment that she gave to all of the other male clients. But I can’t help but wonder if she considered for a moment if I simply journeyed to Mac’s to pass judgment on women in a “lesser” occupation–going “slumming,” if you will. Being the only paying female in the club on a busy Saturday night, I’m sure that the dancers don’t collect tips from other females very often. However, I feel that many things factored into my acceptance by the dancer:

1. I attended the club with my significant other. I obviously came in tandem with my boyfriend, which is a fairly socially acceptable condition. Couples do many things to spice up their sex lives, such as role playing, watching porn, and tying each other up. Why shouldn’t attending a strip club fall into this same category of amateur couples’ therapy?

2. I showed interest in the process. Instead of merely sitting at a table on the outskirts of the club, I dove in headfirst and eagerly sat at the bar and tipped each dancer on stage. By participating in the main activity, I established myself as a “member” of this temporary community.

3. I ditched the group of gaggling girls. Showing up with a group of my girlfriends might have freaked out the dancers. Sure, they’re used to groups of guys ogling their goodies, but women sometimes pass intense judgment against other women–especially when the person in question lies outside of the group. Bringing along a few of my female friends might have made the strippers uncomfortable, or as though we came simply to feel better about ourselves in our society.

Another realization I had upon visiting the strip club: the girls up on stage are real. I’m not talking about the romanticized irony of strip dancers having heartfelt personalities and ambitions–the dancers were simply… girls. Even the public lap dances didn’t seem too out of place – they were just simple acts that accompanied the experience of frequenting a strip club.

Overall, I enjoyed the experience. Would the sexually skirmish squirm at the thought of simply setting foot into this type of establishment? Sure. But if you’re open to a new activity on a particularly dull weekend, give the good ol’ strip club a try.

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The Lelo Nea vibrator's design will have your friends clueless on its actual use. Photo from vibrators.com.

We all know they exist, but not all of us use them. For the amateurs, novices and timid, vibrators can seem a bit scary. However, ubiquitous in the sex toy market across America, vibrators rank among the top-selling sexual enhancements in the bedroom. Their popularity just continues to grow: according to a study released last summer, more than half of women have used a vibrator in their lifetime, while a whopping 44 percent of men have incorporated use of the sex toy in their… ahem… playtime. Living in a liberal and forward-thinking city, students and working professionals enjoy easy access to boutiques and shops across Boston that sell the latest and greatest in vibrator technology. No matter what neighborhood, chances are you can simply walk or take a quick T ride to one of the following shops to get your buzz on:

-Good Vibrations, Coolidge Corner (308A Harvard Street, Brookline)

-Too Timid, Back Bay (297 Newbury Street, Boston)

-Condomworld, Back Bay (332 Newbury Street, Boston)

-Amazing, Fenway (1258 Boylston Street, Boston)

-Hubba Hubba, Central Square (534 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge)

For the average college student, seeking out a vibrator for yourself might seem daunting, a bit scary, and, well… naughty. If you find yourself too timid to gallivant through the public to pursue a perfect purchase, plenty of websites exist where you can browse the inventory, and have it discreetly shipped directly to your doorstep (or dorm mailbox). Some websites I recommend:

-www.vibrators.com – The easy-to-use format and website layout is less likely to scare a newbie shopper. With a vast selection, there’s a little something for everyone. Plus, shipping is cheap: only $3.95 for ground shipping (6-8 business days). Discreetness is always a plus: they ship using plain boxes and the return address PriveCo Inc.

-www.vibrator.com – Not to be confused with its plural counterpart, this website offers sorting of products price-wise and product-wise for a more efficient search. Plus, if you plan on buying a vibrator with all the whistles, vibrator.com might be the place for you: they have free shipping on orders over $75. With an emphasis on discreetness, vibrator.com will bill and ship from their parent company, Acme Media LLC, so you don’t have to worry about your parents noticing a sex toy bill on your shared credit card.

-www.drugstore.com – Wait a minute… you can buy your shampoo, vitamins and sex toys all in one fell swoop? Well, why not? The trusted drugstore.com sells a decent selection of sex toys with free ground shipping on orders over $25. Bonus: since one company owns both drugstore.com and beauty.com, it’s easy to reach the $25 mark for free shipping if you stock up on your beauty and household essentials at the same time. The only downfall: expect price mark-ups from the popular website.

-www.babeland.com – An online vibrator store with a sale section? Sign me up! Babeland.com also provides an assortment of toys sorted by their different uses, purposes and functions. Their “Finding the Right Vibrator” section offers help selecting the right vibrator for you.

OK, so now you know the boutiques around Boston and sites on the web to start your buzz-worthy journey. The next step is to figure out which specific toy best suits your needs. Whether you’re a novice, expert, part of a couple, or just plain curious, the sex toy market offers a wide enough variety that you’re bound to find the right fit.

The OhMiBod syncs your iPod playlists to a buzz-worthy ride. Photo from gazette.uwo.ca.

For the newbie: A plain, sleek vibrator will get you started off – and hopefully finished off – just fine. Try the Slimline vibrator – slim and sleek, the lack of a realistic, veiny exterior is less threatening, and the smooth plastic casing slides easily for penetration.

For the timid: Plenty of vibrators come in non-threatening shapes. If you don’t particularly want a life-like toy, try a vibrator like the Lelo Nea. At a mere 3 inches and looking like a cross between a computer mouse and a paperweight, the Lelo Nea is anything but scary. This high-end toy has 10 settings, so play to your heart’s desire.

For the environmental freak: Don’t get your panties in a twist over the gluttony of materials used to comprise these toys. Browse vibrator.com for their “Green Toys.” Currently featured is the Berman Center Venus Silicone G Spot Stimulator.

For the sex fiend: Can’t get enough of that sweet, sweet lovin’? Try a vibrator that will stimulate all of your orifices, like the wildly popular Jack Rabbit, as featured on Sex and the City. This sold-out toy has dual stimulation for both your insides and your outsides.

For the music junkie: If you can’t bear to take your headphones out of your ears, then boy, do I have the vibrator for you. The OhMiBod syncs with your iPod and pulses to the rhythm of your favorite songs. This vibrator seriously sexes up your playlist.

For the hard-to-please: Not easy to please in bed? After a romp in the sack with a Femblossom, you’ll be singing this vibrator’s praises. Equipped with a powerful motor and a warming sensation, the Femblossom promises to deliver an orgasm like you’ve never experienced before.

For the penny-pincher: Yes, we know, the recession has hit all of our wallets, including yours. How can you scrounge up the moolah to invest in a vibrator, you ask? Not to fear, plenty of cheap vibrators are here! Invest in a vibrator like the Maxi Slim Mystique without breaking the bank – at a mere $8 plus shipping, what’s stopping you?

For the oral-lover: Penetration is cool and all, but some people just wish they could have a floating tongue to pleasure themselves all day. Lucky for those people: the Tongue II emulates the joy of getting oral! Use with water-based lubrication to really get that oral feeling.

For the one with the nosy roommate: Need to mask your new toy with a disguise and a quiet din? Try the Love Lipstick – masked as a normal lipstick, this small vibrator has multiple speed settings and a powerful motor, according to Babeland’s description.

For the dirty: Feeling a bit… dirty lately? Satisfy yourself with a nice, hot shower accompanied by your new best vibrating friend. Bring the Teardrop Bullet and Controller into your shower stall – the waterproof remote lets you control speeds without interrupting your good time.

For the couple: Singles don’t have to hog all the fun! The Opharia Pleasure Pack features two pieces: a vibrating penis ring, and a vibrating finger-toy. Spice up your sex routine by surprising your boyfriend or girlfriend with these – trust me, he or she will thank you!

Now that you know everything you need to know to buy a vibrator, what are you waiting for? Hop on that T, surf the web, and purchase your dream sex toy, stat!

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But while Americans have been educated on preventing pregnancy and the contraction of sexually transmitted infections, there are multiple maladies you can contract by engaging in the wrong position, doing it too many times, or stopping before reaching orgasm. Boston University sexologist Teri Aronowitz addresses some major problems, and how to prevent and fix them.

• Urinary tract infections. Also called UTIs, this infection of the urethra is more common in women than men. Since the urinary tract is internal in women, it lies close to both the anus and vagina, and is located much closer to the anus than in men. Because of this, women are more susceptible to bacteria entering and infecting their bladder during sex. “The urethra is pretty much caught between a rock and a hard place,” Aronowitz explains. Symptoms of  UTI include painful/burning urinating, bloody or cloudy urine, and painful cramps in the stomach and back. She suggests urinating after sex to prevent contracting a UTI, which will help bacteria leave the body.
• Blue balls. Contrary to popular belief, guys aren’t the only unfortunate recipients of blue balls. Aronowitz related stories of women coming in to see her, complaining of vaginal discomfort. Instead of checking for infection, Aronowitz suggests a newfangled cure: masturbating. “When the clitoris is stimulated, the labia engorges it,” Aronowitz explained at a public function at the Women’s Resource Center. “If climax is not reached, the labia can continue to be swollen for days, which can pull on the clitoris and rub together as you walk.” This can cause the discomfort many of her patients feel. She suggests preventing this by making sure both you and your partner have reached climax during sex.
• The wrong position. Anyone who sees Very Bad Things will be sexually scarred for life: Jeremy Piven’s character takes a prostitute into his hotel bathroom, engages in aggressive sexual intercourse, and slams her into the wall in a fit of passion. Unfortunately, the wall he chooses has a nail pointing out of it, punctures the prostitute’s skull, and dramatically kills her. While this scene is very rare, it certainly discourages one from having sex against walls. Aronowitz suggests avoiding scenes like this by being open and reading your partner’s body language to see if they like aggressive sex. She says agreeing upon a “safe word” at the beginning of the session will also help open communication during sex.
• Dirty dildos. For couples who use adult toys as a special addition in their bedroom, passing them back and forth without cleaning them in between can lead to infection. Aronowitz suggests either introducing two toys – one for each person – or simply cleaning the one in use with soap and warm water before using it on your partner. She also suggests employing this cleaning method after each time the toy is used to prevent infections during future use.
• Chafing. It is pretty tough to get too much of this good thing — but unfortunately, multiple bouts of sexual intercourse can cause discomfort in both parties, and can even lead to chafing. “It’s important that both parties are aware of each other, and making sure there is enough lubrication,” Aronowitz suggests. Bleeding after intercourse in women is also common. “It’s a natural response,” Aronowitz said. So before you decide to try for the 6^th or 7^th time in one day, reach for the lube!
• Shaving. Chafing and discomfort in the nether regions could be a result of the “new sexual shaving,” according to Aronowitz. Since Americans now embrace shaving their downstairs for aesthetic, the fine bristles of hair – if not shaved closed enough – rub up against your partner, irritating his or her skin. Aronowitz also suggests that there has been an increase in HPV and other STIs due to this new trend: since the bristles rub abrasively, they can break the skin and easily transmit infections. People should either shave closely every day, or let their hair grow out to prevent this from happening, said Aronowitz.
• Vaginismus. Vaginismus is defined as “the instantaneous, involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles in anticipation of vaginal penetration,” according to www.womenstc.com. “This muscle is pretty darn strong, and it has got a mind of its own,” Aronowitz said. If this muscle has been torn in the past, the muscle might seize up at the beginning of intercourse, resulting in discomfort and even pain in both partners. Aronowitz suggests having your partner practice a special technique to open the labia up: with two fingers, gently press down inside the vagina on the rectal area, following a half-moon shape while doing so. She also suggests going through mental therapy if the problem continues to persist.

There you have it. Be careful with the toys, shave completely clean (or not at all) and make sure to use plenty of lube! With all of these things in mind, you’re fully prepared to have crazy special sex while keeping yourself – and your partner – safe.

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Photo from ucsb.edu

The death of a relationship can come in many forms, whether it be cheating, lying, betrayal, or falling out of love. But these reasons are often the symptom of a catalyst, a catalyst called distance.

In the college scene, long-distance relationships are not uncommon, especially during freshman year and the popular going-abroad junior year. And while being in a relationship – no matter the distance – can be rewarding, comforting and fulfilling, the college years test these intimate bonds like no other years in the American cultural life. Is it really worth giving up the party scene, the chance to meet new people, and reigning in your self-discipline to upkeep a long-distance relationship?

When I arrived at Boston University, I had been in a long-term relationship with my high school boyfriend for over a year. Even though we had a semi-long distance relationship before I came to Boston – we lived an hour apart while in Connecticut, or five hours apart when he went to school in Pennsylvania – we somehow managed to keep our bond strong. But coming from a boring suburban town and tasting a bit of what a thriving metropolis had to offer, we broke up by October.

One of my good friends, whom I met through freshman orientation the previous June, had a similar situation. Even though he came to BU as a man taken off the market by his high school girlfriend, the 3,000-mile difference from Boston to California put a cog in their relationship.

“It was a tough time for me switching to a long-distance relationship for the first semester,” Patrick Wemmer (COM ’11) said. “There were times when I was completely committed but other weeks where I felt I was already single. Over Thanksgiving break, I figured if I was doubting the relationship that much I needed to break it off and explore the college dating scene.”

Another long-distance problem in college lies in going abroad. When students finally get to junior year, the most popular year to go abroad, they have already been settled into their school for two years, with a close group of friends and most likely a significant other. But if you dream of living in another country for three months, you can bet it’ll have a strain on your relationship.

COM junior Kristen Berg, who is going to study abroad in Beirut next semester, said although leaving a guy behind would not have made an impact on her decision to go, being in a long-distance relationship could affect the foreign experience.

“I would maybe hold back a little bit, and not go out with friends or party as much as usual,” she said. “Right now, I’m going for the experience: meeting new people, exploring the culture, and just having fun.”

Even while she’s abroad, Berg says she isn’t planning on pursuing or getting attached to anyone – she just wants to experience a new culture and practice her Arabic.

However, if you do find yourself in a long-distance relationship, here are a few tips that might help make the relationship last.

Investing in a Webcam (or learning how to use it if your laptop came with one preinstalled) can help make time apart easier.

-       Communicate regularly. Although this might seem like a “Well, duhhh” rule, communicating openly and frequently will help fend off loneliness and doubts of fidelity. “You need to put more effort into communicating long-distance than when you spend time together,” Wemmer said. “You have to communicate better than before.”

-       Establish trust. Since you won’t be around to personally see and hear how your significant other is acting, establishing trust is an important key to not getting jealous over her ripped guy friends or his smokin’ hot lab partner.

-       Agree on common goals. Having the same common goals going into the relationship is important – for example, talk about what you think will end it or what will make it stay together. Understand that your relationship is changing dramatically, and make sure you’re on the same level as your partner. Understand what you’re both trying to achieve, know what the other person wants, and then meet the goals. “If you feel like you can’t do that, you might have to cut it off,” Wemmer said.

-       Interact, interact, interact. Although seeing each other as much as possible is desirable, plane and train tickets are expensive, and who has time to travel with college-level course load and extra-curricular responsibilities? If you’re still missing your boyfriend or girlfriend even after talking on the phone for hours each night, investing in a webcam – seeing your loved one face-to-face, even if on a 15-inch laptop screen, could help.

-       Be patient. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is going abroad where the time zones are different, agree on specific times and days that you two can chat on Skype. Although having your loved one in another country might make you feel uneasy, just remember that it’s a temporary situation: once the semester ends, your significant other will be back in your arms.

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Australian 26-year-old supermodel Miranda Kerr struts her stuff. Photo from blogspot.com.

I just came to this realization: There are Angels on earth, and they come in the form of Victoria’s Secret models.

Watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show tonight, the outrageous fashions fell to the wayside, as watching the models stomp the runway is the real spectacle. Victoria’s Secret models are arguably some of the most beautiful, physically flawless women in the entire world. While other designers flaunt their clothes and fashions on the runway, Victoria’s Secret product – skimpy skeevies – are better sold with sex. And, boy, do these models have sex appeal.

Although some of the outfits had the bras and panties built into them – such as a scarlet red corset outfit that fit seamlessly with a black lacey bra in the ending runway walk – the clothes had more to do with selling an image of Victoria’s Secret panties than a fashion ideal. (I highly doubt that a 15-foot trail of balloons over a panty set will trickle down into H&M anytime soon).

When it comes to underwear, the body says it all. Sexy underwear requires a sexy body – and these models have the modern stereotype of beauty nailed. Long, thin legs, a fit-looking stomach, and boobs that Pamela Anderson would have been jealous of. Top it off with their exotically gorgeous bone structure and made-up eyes, and you have the epitome of the male wet dream come true.

As a girl, I watch the Victoria’s Secret models as an onlooker would look at a graceful tiger at the zoo: from a distance, I like to observe and judge, but consider them a completely different breed from myself. But to guys, watching the models strut their stuff on TV is different; when I watched the runway show in slow motion, I can see why males are so intrigued. Not only are the models gorgeous, but these buxom beauties literally look as though they’re seducing you in every stop-motion frame.

Model Search winner Kylie approached her winning walk with energy and enthusiasm, blowing kisses and pointing to audience members to get the crowd pumped.

But in slow motion, Kylie is a porn star on a public platform. Every little motion she makes screams, “SEX SEX SEX HAVE SEX WITH ME!” Her breasts seem to defy gravity, bouncing perfectly in her sported push-up bra, legs with 0% body fat shining in the warm stage lights, eyes inviting you in every second that she’s on the catwalk. I’m fairly certain that any girl, in this moment, would have little doubt in turning gay for such a stunning and glamorous woman.

But when you’re as gorgeous as a Victoria’s Secret supermodel, I guess it’s an easy act to perfect.

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Photo from www.lifemedicalsupplier.com.

In the past few weeks, headlines have been dedicated to the new study results released outlining what age women should get mammograms. Mammograms, a test that uses X-rays to determine if a woman has breast cancer, seems like a concern far off in the future for us 20-something college students. (For guys, I’m sure it barely even registers a blip on the radar, since mammograms are commonly though to be only for females.) But the study results could prove to be immensely important in our future.

The US Preventative Services Task Force released these results earlier this month, recommending that women get screened for breast cancer at 50 instead of 40, and to only get screened once every two years, rather than annually. The USPSTF also discouraged doctors from teaching women how to give themselves breast exams.

Although the panel of doctors that compose the USPSTF are “independent” according to their website, they are appointed by the US Department of Health and Human Services.

Since there has been a major push to pass national government-funded healthcare, the study results seem a bit fishy. Currently, most states in the US require health insurers to pay at least part of the mammogram cost, according to cancer.gov. The cost of the test is pretty high, averaging $102, according to costhelper.com. If we were to have national health care, wouldn’t it make sense that a study released by a government-funded group of doctors would discourage women to get costly annual examinations starting at age 40? If the government has to foot the bill for these breast tests, it makes sense that they would want to discourage women from getting them often.

While this reasoning might seem like a bit of a stretch, why would the panel suggest that you SHOULD NOT perform self-examination? The official reason – undue stress – does not outweigh the benefits of discovering, and eventually treating, a lump that could lead to death by breast cancer.  When a woman checks her own breast and finds a suspicious lump, the first thing she does is run to the doctor to get tested via mammogram. But if we’re discouraged to stop self-examinations, then less women will go get tested, resulting in a decrease of mammograms – and a decrease in paying for the expensive test.

Even if national healthcare does not pass, the recommendations could have a negative impact on our medical bills in 20 years. Considering a panel employed by the government released the study, states could rescind their requirement for insurance companies to fork over mammogram money to patients. Currently, insured patients have a co-pay between $10 and $35 for mammograms, according to costhelper.com. But by the time our generation gets to be middle-aged, the new guidelines could justify insurance companies’ tendency to stiff us. For example, if you decide that, hell, you DO want to get mammograms annually once you turn 40, guess what? Your insurance company might make you pay for the whole amount. This is a dangerous practice, since the high price will discourage you from getting tested outside the insurance company’s rules.

A woman gets her annual mammogram. Photo by www.cpmc.org.

The reason that the USPSTF provides for its recommendation of later, less frequent testing also makes me uneasy. Citing unnecessary anxiety caused by diagnosis of a tumor and further medical tests, the USPSTF said the benefits of mammograms outweigh the emotional downfalls. However, the cancer death rate decreased 15 percent in women who get tested in their 40s. While the report makes it seem as though 15 percent is low, mammograms save 15 out of 100 cancer patients in their 40s every year. According to cancer.org, 40,170 women have died from breast cancer in 2009. If 15 percent of 40,170 were saved due to mammograms, 6,025 women would be saved by the test in this year alone. Trying to sway the public with low percentages is not a good way to actually relate the benefits and downfalls of the tests – real, flesh-and-blood lives are a better way to approach the topic.

So while we, as college students, might brush off the new suggested guidelines as something for older women to worry about, the consequences of the study released are astronomical even for our generation. Once we fully understand the context of the study, we can proudly make informed decisions that could save our boobs – and our lives.

For more information on the new mammogram guidelines, this article has proven to be especially helpful in understanding the facts.

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When you wanna get down, who will pay up?

I’ve always been torn when it comes to paying the check on a date: do I graciously let the man pick up the tab? Do I offer to split the bill? Do I insist on paying? Recently, my internal struggle is more pronounced than it was in high school. As a constantly broke college student, should I let myself be treated? Or should I stay true to my independent feminist instincts and pay for myself?

This dilemma pops up constantly in the dating scene. But when the evening comes to a close, and you get back to your place with the intention of getting busy, an even bigger question presents itself: who should supply and pay for the birth control?

The response from college students varies. While I thought the general notion among students would be that guys should pay for condoms and girls should pay for their Pill, students had arguments and counterarguments on who should pay for what.

“Regarding the Pill, I think the girl should pay for it,” Northeastern middler-year Mike Dores said. “The Pill is more in the girl’s area. Not only does it prevent pregnancies, but it does help in other areas. I know there are beneficial side effects for girls.”

Dores is correct – going on the Pill evens out a woman’s menstrual cycle, and can even reduce “moderate

It's commonly expected for girls to pay for The Pill | photo courtesy of Wikimedia

acne,” according birth control brand Yaz’s website. Women may also experience shorter periods and less menstrual cramps, according to a quiz on Yaz’s website.

A friend in my Newswriting II class, however, said she refuses to go on the Pill unless her boyfriend helps pay for it. The Pill can be expensive, and she doesn’t want to solely shoulder an expense that benefits both of them.

Boston University senior Katie Pyle said that she would rather pay for her own pill than demand her boyfriend to help.

“It’s my prescription and my body, and I have the ultimate say on whether I want to take it and which kind I want to take,” she said. “I’m in a relationship for now and my boyfriend usually pays for dinner and drinks, so I kind of figure it’s even.”

When students are single, the condom-supplier usually depends on who has the condoms available for use and is usually split between the guy and the girl, Pyle said.

“When I’m using condoms and not in a serious relationship I figure it’s both parties’ responsibility to carry condoms, and from experience it usually goes back and forth on who has condoms,” she said.

Meanwhile, BU Journalism professor Nick Mills said that whomever is concerned about birth control should be the one responsible for supplying it.

Paying for an endless supply of condoms, birth control pills, and other contraceptive methods can rack up a pretty big bill. A 12-pack Pleasure Pack of condoms from Trojan runs for $16.20 on amazon.com, averaging $1.35 for every romp in the sack. While a dollar here or there doesn’t seem like much, it can definitely add up. Brand names in the birth control pill industry can also cost upwards of $50 a month – with insurance. Without insurance, even generic brands can cost over $60 per month. Plan B, an emergency contraceptive that works to prevent pregnancy up to five days after intercourse, can cost anywhere between $10 and $70 for a single dose, according to Planned Parenthood’s website.

Pyle expressed concern that female students who cannot afford Plan B by themselves risk a pregnancy by not buying the contraceptive.

“I think both parties have a responsibility to pay for Plan B,” Pyle said. “I’ve had guys not take any responsibility for it and it just makes me like them less.”

Luckily, BU knows that college students are simultaneously broke and horny as ever. Student Health Services has multiple baskets filled with free Trojan condoms in the waiting room area. If you foresee needing more than a handful, SHS offers 20 condoms in a discreet paper brown bag for only $5. Frats and BU groups also frequently host events where condoms are distributed for free.

SHS offers a Condom Coupon for condoms on the cheap

Although these cheap alternatives exist, many students may feel embarrassed or weird about running into SHS and grabbing a fistful of condoms.

“I went to a condom concert last year, and it was in a dimly lit room,” Pyle said. “They had so many condoms that I filled up a bag and have been living off of it for a year, because honestly, I’m too embarrassed to grab SHS condoms most of the time.”

Grabbing condoms for free in a dimly-lit room might save you the embarrassment, but going on the Pill is a great preventative measure if you think you’ll be having sex on a regular basis. Making an appointment with Student Health Services to discuss your options is free, and you can talk with the doctor about generic brand prescriptions, which are generally inexpensive – especially when compared to paying for an abortion or raising a child.

Using services such as Express Scripts can help reduce costs and save embarrassment. Depending on your insurance, you can get a three-month supply of your birth control for the price of one month. Express Scripts delivers the three-month supply directly to your doorstep (or dorm mailbox) in a discreet white bag. Signing up is simple: just print out the order form from their website and bring it to your doctor, who will fill out the prescription and fax it to the company.

Students can obtain the Pill for low cost by printing out coupons from Yaz’s website, which offer the Pill for no more than $20 per month.

Private ob/gyn doctors can also give free samples to patients, Pyle said.

“My ob/gyn has been amazing and has given me free samples of birth control pills,” she said.

The most important thing to remember is that to be safe during sex, you must be protected. While abstinence is the only true 100% effective birth control method, contraceptives are readily available to those who want and need it. And it doesn’t have to break your wallet, either.

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