Were there a more pernicious or insidious crime than that of chalking, perhaps I would find the occasion or desire to discuss it at length. However, a careful analysis of our current circumstance and a search (with fine-toothed comb, mind you) through the annals of history yields the fact that there is no act so malevolent, so offensive, or so noxious to the general welfare as publicly chalking.
Since the beginning of time, that which is invented with the noblest of intent has, invariably, fallen into the hands of the destructive. Just as Nobel’s gunpowder was adapted by warmongers, much has the instrument of education, the indefatigable stick of chalk, the medium most useful to teachers and professors from the naissance of a child’s education been, for all intents and purposes, stolen by those seeking to wreak havoc on our cities, our towns, and our campuses.
Fortunately, Boston University has once again stood up against the forces of evil, wrangling the wild and bucking bronco of chalking with the diligence and deftness of the most experienced of cowboys. That student organizations will no longer be able to advertise their events with bold acts of graffiti is a boon to our community; with the advent of the internet, no longer should groups feel the need to commit their cause to a physical space or have any sort of tangible presence, and in an unprofessional and egregious manner at that. And to those individuals besieging our sidewalks, seeking gratification in chalk “artwork” or attempting to brighten a stranger’s day with a so-called smiley-face, verbal message, or, heaven-forbid, a depiction of a sexual organ, cease. Cease and let be. We at Boston University are not interested in your peon-dedicated, philistine-attracting defacement.
As members of the Terrier Nation, we must be proud that our campus will no longer be plagued with the lowliest of deeds, that visitors like prospective students and their parents will see Boston University as a clean chalkboard with nary a sign of a light-hearted or active community. And as adults, we must be appreciative of the regulation of the immature scribblings appropriate only to pre-schoolers. Thus, rejoice! Rejoice, for chalking is dead!