Diary of a Fantasy Football n00b

Flashback to Monday, October 25th, about 9:30 PM. Tony Romo, the Cowboys’ franchise quarterback, drop back for a pass against the Giants, the Cowboys’ arch-rival. He looks right, then throws, complete, to Miles Austin for a 14-yard gain. But wait, something’s wrong. Romo’s not getting up from the hit Giants linebacker Michael Boley put on him. I shout, “NOOOOOOOO!!!!”

And then went immediately to Yahoo’s Live Fantasy StatTracker. I’m not a Cowboys fan, I’m a Ravens boy, through and through. I don’t even like Tony Romo! The fact is, however, that during the rush for quarterbacks that happened during my fantasy league’s live draft, Tony Romo was my co-owner and my best option for a winning team. And I needed 7.5 points from him Monday to beat my roommate. I got it, but now I need another quarterback.

For those of you who don’t know, a fantasy football team is a collection of players from any team around the league. Every week, the “owner” of the fantasy football team picks from his/her team, the group of players (by position) that he/she thinks will have the best week (which is based on a variety of factors). The fantasy football team plays another in a “league,” which is usually a group of 10-12 equally fanatical guys (and gals, sometimes). This goes on for the duration of the NFL season, although the fantasy season concludes earlier. There are a bunch of other quirks (trades, waivers, etc.) that would be awful to get into.

Now, I’m new to this scene. I’ve always been hesitant to wager money, pride, or time on anything with “fantasy” in the title. But I, like thousands upon thousands, of other men and women find myself consumed by fantasy football. I discuss strategy and players throughout the week. I watch and/or stat-track any game I have a player involved in. I have an iPhone app for it. If I can, I watch “The League” on FX on Thursday nights. For God’s sake, I get a little nauseous around 12:45 on some Sunday afternoons, and only sometimes is it because the Ravens are playing.

It’s incredible.

Of course, I didn’t realize until I was scouring the player pool for replacement quarterbacks (please, Brad Childress, start Tavaris Jackson over Favre) that I got a little concerned about my new obsession. A man’s clavicle was broken, a fan base devastated by unfulfilled promises for the season, and here I am, worried about points in a fairly silly competition. Don’t get me wrong. I love fantasy football. I love how it makes me care about every game. I love watching my team succeed as my friends’ teams falter. I love how exciting Sundays and Mondays are. But I have to admit, I hate making professional athletes, or people in general, any more commodities than they already sort of are.

But seriously Brett Favre. Sit Sunday. “T. Dilfer ‘Nuff Said” needs Tavaris to start.