Get in Line for Your Government Mandated Pat-Down

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, throngs of travelers are descending on our nation’s airports looking forward to eating Grandma’s stuffing and watching the crazy uncle try to deep-fry a turkey. Before travelers embark on their holiday journeys, however, they will be asked to make a difficult choice: would they rather receive an “enhanced” pat-down from a complete stranger or go through a scanner that will essentially send a naked picture of you to a few technicians in the room next door?

The TSA, created after 9/11, was often viewed favorably in its early days. People were willing to take off their shoes and leave liquids out of their carry-ons if it meant we would all be safer. Then, last Christmas, there was the underwear bomber. A terrorist got through security with a bomb nestled in his tighty-whities, and attempted to set it off as his plane made its descent to Detroit. Now we are all paying the price.

A couple of weeks ago the TSA implemented a long-discussed body scanner, which lets the TSA agents see through your clothes, showing an outline of your body and genitals. Of course, if you would prefer not to have your privacy invaded by allowing a stranger to see under your clothes, that is your right. Instead, you can allow a stranger to pat you down, which now involves an agent patting the legs of men until they meet “resistance” (gentlemen, that’s code for “we’re going to touch your balls”) and feeling women’s groins. Or you could choose not to board your flight.

There has been significant public outcry at the introduction of these new measures. Many people have serious problems with the idea of a detailed body scan, and there has been discussion of a mass opt-out of the scan on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Secretary of State Hilary Clinton has been widely quoting saying that she would not submit to a pat down if there was any way to avoid it, and President Barack Obama has warned the TSA to keep the privacy and dignity of passengers in mind as they implement new procedures. There has even been talk of court challenges to the scans and the pat-downs, saying they represent a breach of the Fourth Amendment protection from unreasonable searches and seizures.

I fly fairly frequently, and I have had the distinct pleasure of being patted down by government agents more than once. I have flown since the new body scanners were put in place, and I did find the experience invasive – though certainly not as invasive as a pat-down. Even if you opt for the body scan, you can be patted down if your scan has any anomalies. You might think this will only happen if you have a bomb strapped to your thigh, but that is certainly not the case. After I went through the scanner, an agent pulled me aside and asked if she could pat down my hair because my ponytail had shown up as an anomaly. A scanner I went through in Boston picked up a wire bracelet but one I went through in Baltimore did not. Given my experience, I have to wonder if the scans are any better than metal detectors, and if we aren’t all making fools of ourselves while terrorists stuff explosives into their body cavities in a public restroom.