This week’s Top Chef All Stars opened with a new format for presenting the events of last week’s episode. The new way seems less rushed, and more like we are watching the episode again, just less of it. In case you missed last week, the chefs had to cook the dish that eliminated them the first time. Blais should have one, but went over the allotted time and was disqualified, allowing Angelo to swoop in for the win. Surprisingly, Elia was sent home, and she came off a little sadder and crazier than I remember her from season 2. But on to last night’s episode!
The guest judge for the Quickfire was Joe Jonas. Spike was the first one to inform us which Jonas brother this was, probably because Spike is in the Disney Channel’s key demographic. Everyone swooned over his presence except for Dale T., who said that he thought it was a pastry chef. The challenge was to make a snack for kids at the Museum of Natural History‘s “Night at the Museum” sleepover. We got to learn all about the chefs’ childhoods, like how Richard was fat and used to put heavy cream on his cereal, rivaling Cooking on the Quad‘s Triple-Chocolate Cheesecake in the decadent department.The bottom three were Tiffany, Stephen, and Mike, who made Horchata (even though the kids in the museum probably don’t listen to Vampire Weekend). Tiffani, who admitted she was repentant for her condescending tone in season one, and Spike, who is eleven years old, were the top two and had to continue the challenge by recruiting the other chefs to make 150 portions of their snacks. After the kids voted (in what was the longest Quickfire segment in Top Chef history), Tiffani emerged the winner.
Just when the chefs thought they were done, Tom came in with the elimination challenge! (They should have known this happens whenever they are taken to a second location). The task was to make a breakfast buffet for the kids and their parents in the morning. Tiffani got to choose if her team would cook based on the diet of the T-Rex (meat, dairy, eggs) or the brontosaurus (fruits and veggies). She chose T-Rex, thinking that she would have access to juice and herbs anyway, but she was wrong.
At 4 am, the chefs started cooking. Team T-Rex (Tiffani, Dale L., Tre, Tiffany, Casey, Jamie, Jenn, Antonia) clearly had some problems. Tiffany and Antonia’s fritadas were cooking unevenly, and Jamie cut her thumb early on, causing her to go the hospital to get stitches. When she returned several hours later, everyone complained that she left for only TWO stitches. What a wuss! Therein lies the greatness of Top Chef–you leave to get stitches at 4 in the morning, and everyone berates you for not hurting yourself badly enough.
Team brontosaurus (Spike, Blais, Angelo, Marcel, Carla, Mike, Stephen, Fabio, Dale T.) appeared to be sailing along smoothly. Spike seemed slightly more inebriated than usual in his interviews, but maybe he was just high on childhood nostalgia. The only real conflict on the team arose when Angelo decided to cut the plums smaller oh the dish he, Marcel, and Blais shared credit on, causing Marcel to explode, “You’re ruining the integrity of the plum!” and “You don’t f*ck with someone’s mise-en-place!”
Top Chef–the only show on television where the words “F*ck” and “mise-en-place” can be in the same sentence.
The judges, along with guest judge Katie Lee (season 1 host, and Billy Joel’s ex-wife), decided the brontosauri won, with Angelo, Marcel, and Blais’s dish declared the winner. But when team T-Rex got to Judges’ Table, Jennifer went completely insane. She yelled at the judges that her bacon and eggs were great, and that they had no reason to lose. She also didn’t blame Jamie for abandoning her to get stitches, claiming she could have made the whole dish herself anyway. Alas, Jenn was sent home, making her the second very strong woman in two episodes to go.
Also, a fun drinking game for all you BU students out there: Drink every time Fabio reminds the audience that he is Italian. We got it in the Quickfire, we got it when he was making gnocchi, and the entire bump this week (that 30-second bit during commercial breaks) was all about how he is Italian. You will be gone by Judges’ Table, I promise.
For those of who keeping track of the frontrunners this season, here is my list of Cheftenders:
1) Richard Blais
2) Angelo Sosa
3) Tiffani Faison
4) Marcel Vigneron
5) Spike (I hate to admit this, but he seems to be doing well this season…and Jenn was sent home! The world is up-side-down!)
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