There is a problem at BU, and it has become unbearable. The majority of men are parading around in unnecessary running shoes, ill-fitting clothing, and thick, white crew socks. I know what you’re thinking – how do we fix this problem? Well gents, here are seven things to know about getting dressed.
1. ABSOLUTELY NO RUNNING SHOES
Something I will never, ever understand: the ever-presence of running shoes on guys’ feet. I have never met anyone who appreciates them. They are ugly. Sometimes, I will see a guy wearing a perfectly okay outfit, only to be disgraced by a pair of dirty running shoes. I understand the comfort, as some shoes out there just plain hurt, but there’s absolutely no reason a guy can’t purchase a pair of Chuck Taylor’s, Keds, or Vans for a much cheaper price than they are spending on their ever-so-cherished running shoes. Please, stop this. Eighty, ninety dollar Nike or Reebok running shoes don’t cut it either. Unless you absolutely must get up and run a marathon in a moment’s notice, there is no excuse.
2. WEAR PANTS THAT FIT YOUR BODY
UNDESIRABLE NO. 2 – A tragedy that graces the bodies of far too many males on our campus, and, well, the world. Well-fitting clothes can turn a bad outfit good, or even excellent! Sure, it might be difficult from time to time to find a pair of nice fitting jeans or slacks to fit some guys’ little waists, but trust me, it’s better than having to belt a giant pair of $70 pants. Go out, and find a well fitting pair of pants or two that love your body a bit. This will improve nearly everything about an outfit; don’t we all enjoy a little love?
3. I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR SOCKS IF THEY ARE WHITE, OR NOT PAST YOUR ANKLE
Socks are the worst. Well, white “quarter height” socks are the worst. I see them every day, usually paired with –you guessed it – running shoes. Socks are not meant to be seen, unless they are on the feet of an athlete during a sports event. This excludes dress socks, which so cleverly cover the ankle and are generally black or argyle, and sometimes even have bikes or other objects on them. If these are the socks that tickle your fancy, go for it, show them off whenever your little heart desires. Otherwise, stick to black ankle socks, both cheap and hidden from world view.
4. INVEST IN A NIFTY PAIR OF OXFORDS
Sure, some guys might not feel comfortable in a pair of what much of the general population considers “dress shoes.” However, when I notice a well dressed guy who just so happens to be wearing oxfords, my day is made. Though considered “dress shoes,” oxfords (also known as brogues) also make for excellent casual wear. They can be found at Goodwill, Urban Renewals, or any other thrift store for as cheap as $10. That’s right kids – ten dollar shoes that just so happen to be amazing.
5. WELL FITTING T-SHIRTS ARE YOUR FRIENDS (INCLUDING A V-NECK OR TWO)
Finding cheap, well fitting shirts is possibly one of the easiest things to do. A crew or v-neck with a breast pocket is perfect, and probably will not cost more than $20 in most circumstances. This does not include t-shirts that go to your knees, or mid-thigh, or belly shirts, as these do not qualify as well, “well-fitting.” This is key: not too small, not too big, but just right. Feel free to geek out, wear your Star Wars or Superman t-shirt. As long as it fits, go for it.
6. A FEW CASUAL BUTTON DOWNS NEVER HURT
A casual button down with well-fitting slacks and a pair of oxfords is quite easy to come by, and loved by many. The best thing about button downs is that they come in an array of styles and colors. Plaid, grey, navy blue, with a breast pocket – you name it, it’s there. This does not mean go out and buy the loudest, most absurd button down you can find. Keep it calm, and iron when necessary.
7. NICE SWEATERS ARE THE BEST
This includes cardigans, knit sweaters, the works. A nice sweater can be found anywhere, and does wonders for most outfits. For example, a navy cardigan goes well with almost any button down, as well as t-shirt. A simple, black zip-up hoodie is fine if cardigans or knit sweaters aren’t your “thing”; there are plenty of nice, zip-up jackets that do well for those chilly fall days. Find whatever type of sweater you like. As long as it’s not fleece or disgustingly patterned, you’re probably doing it right.
Follow these steps, and you’ll always look like you know what you’re doing. It’s easy, as long as you don’t forget the two most important things: keep your clothing well fitting, and never, ever, wear running shoes if you are not actually going on a run.