Okay, I was going to dedicate this whole beginning part to how great @BUDiningService was this week (partially because they are naturally hilarious and partially because the BU community has finally calmed down and stopped complaining. Well, mostly). But I have once again become plagued by recent celebrity news updates. DAMN YOU, PEREZ HILTON!
1) Sandra Bullock is dating Keanu Reeves?! NO. NONONO! Sandy, you are a fabulous woman and Keanu Reeves is… Keanu Reeves. He can never make you happy like Ryan Reynolds could. You know it, and I know it. So pick up your adorable baby Louis in one hand, your Oscar in the other, and your pride in the third (wait a minute) and just leave this situation! I’m saying this as your friend. (We really are friends. You just don’t know it yet.)
2) Maury has asked Justin Bieber to perform a paternity test on his show. This must happen. IT. MUST. HAPPEN. Can you imagine if Justin Bieber really is a baby daddy?! And it is on national TV?! (I care about this more than I do about any political debate. WHAT KIND OF MONSTER AM I?! Seriously. I read like 4 articles about this whole baby daddy drama. Help me.)
So, here I am. Feeling conflicted, hating one bit of news so much and equally loving another. While I sort myself out and try to salvage my brain cells by listening to NPR or something, here are this week’s tweets!
MINUS THE BIBLICAL THEMES
BU’s own Veggie Tales, coming to a BUTV10 station near you! (Also, does anyone actually understand this tweet? If so, comment.)
I THINK HERMAN CAIN HAS THAT COPYRIGHTED
1) I think the slogan ‘Sex, Drugs, Murder’ is already pushing it far enough. 2) Did that kid purposely mean to misspell his name or is it really Brain?
CLIFFHANGER TWEETS… DID SHE EVER GO THROUGH WITH IT? FIND OUT ON NEXT WEEK’S TWEETCREEP.
Yet another @BUDiningServices tweet that can be answered with, “I’m trapped in a glass case of emotion!” C’mon, guys. Ron Burgundy is old news. You might as well be quoting Napoleon Dynamite.
TOO SCARY TO THINK ABOUT
You know what they say: heels make a woman’s butt look great. So stilts can only make it look even better?
HOW SOON IS TOO SOON FOR OCCUPY-RELATED HUMOR?
IT’S A TRAP! DON’T REPLY TO THIS TWEET!
In these trying times, it’s not about who is alive or who is dead, but rather who is UNdead.
AND THEY SAY LIBRARIES ARE FOR SQUARES
Sounds like an enthralling blog series.
MISUSE OF THE WORD ‘CELEBRATE’
Next week: We’ll be celebrating the Titanic. The week after that: Pompeii.
SOMEONE’S NOT GOING TO LIKE MY RESPONSE TO THIS TWEET. OH WELL.
Because even on its worst day, @BUDiningService food is still better than Eddie Murphy’s comedy. (OH SNAP!)