The Gleecap: “Heart”

The Gleecap is a column dedicated to recap and review the zany antics that occur in each episode of the television show Glee. Blog posts will be released each Wednesday following an episode. Beware, there will be spoilers.

After weeks of generally mediocre or downright terrible episodes, the concept of watching Glee (a show known for pairing off all its cast members) during Valentine’s Day begins to sound a lot like medieval torture. And, honestly, anyone watching Glee last night was not celebrating Valentine’s Day, they were celebrating (by eating feelings) Singles Awareness Day (SAD).

Story Overview

Unfortunately for anyone sore off of the heart-shaped chocolate of solitude, this entire episode dealt with couples, romance, and (mostly) happy endings.

Announcing the grand re-naming of popular restaurant Breadstix to the Sugar Shack, local aristocrat Sugar Motta invited New Directions, a la Oprah, to the event. The catch—everyone had to come with a date.

Panic ensues! Except not really, because everyone except Quinn, Sam, Artie, Sugar and Rory were already in pairs. Quinn and Sam solved their problems by working with the “God Squad,” whilst Artie and Rory decided to compete for Sugar’s heart through a montage of clichéd, yet endearing moments of gift-giving.

Sam and Mercedes, for the 80th time, contemplate their feelings toward one another. Sick of lying, Mercedes breaks the news to Shane (his first appearance in months) and tells Sam she needs space.

Hot off sassing out Mr. Schuester for his cultural stereotypes, Miss Santana Lopez tackles yet another social issue by challenging the school’s homophobic rules on public displays of affection. She asks the God Squad (featuring Glee Project winner Samuel Larssen as religious hipster Joe Hart) to serenade Brittany for her.

Jumping on the ever-growing bandwagon of Team Anti-Finchel Marriage, Rachel Berry’s dads decide to teach the two kids a message by making them have a sleepover. After a brief argument about Rachel’s inability to share a bathroom, the two cause the dads’ plans to backfire and opt to move their marriage to the end of the school year.

In an event that needs no introduction, Kurt spends the episode being courted by a gorilla. The gorilla, he presumes, is Blaine. The gorilla turns out to be Karofsky. A Karofksy who has his heart crushed and has apparently found a bully of his own.

At Sugar’s Valentine’s Day bash, these stories come to a head. The God Squad, through the progressive reasoning of Quinn, honor Santana’s request to serenade Brittany. Rory, after devious use of a puppy and possibly a bold-faced lie, wins Sugar’s heart, while Artie is left pulling a gift card out of a potted plant. Lastly, a now two-eyed Blaine breaks out some fancy-pants dancing to further cement his relationship with bewildered Kurt.

Flowers for a stellar tribute. | Photo courtesy of Fox TV


Shane—It’s really troublesome that the Samcedes relationship story has been going on for weeks, and viewers are just now seeing Shane. I am not partial toward the character, but it’s hard to deal with consequences of cheating when there has been no relationship to be seen.

Karofsky—This was the most touching surprise that the show has offered up all season. It makes perfect sense that a character so tortured by his sexuality would turn to his biggest gay role model on Valentine’s Day. Karofsky is still visibly mired in an unhealthy place, and a bully reminiscent of Karofsky’s former self is now tormenting him. His big moment in the episode was both moving and utterly heartbreaking.

Sugar—Her character has never been riddled with depth. Her character, in this episode, is still not particularly riddled with depth. In fact, I don’t think her character ever will be riddled with depth. Fortunately for viewers, she’s too hysterical and shallow to need much depth. That was shown in this episode.

Quinn—I’m glad to see Hero Quinn has been making more appearances than Villain Quinn. By coming to the natural conclusion that the God Squad should sing to Brittany, she cemented herself as a positive character. That is, until the promo for next week aired.


“L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole: Tina and Mike don’t often get any much screen time, but when they do, it’s often cute and charming. This song was not only a testament to their adorability, but it also managed to showcase Tina’s pipes without challenging Mike too much. The Rory vs. Artie montage was hysterical as well.

“Let Me Love You” by Mario: Suddenly, a wild boy band song appears! Generally speaking, Artie’s song selections are always somewhat bizarre, but usually entertaining. Although the vocals were not  ground-breaking, it was amusing enough to warrant inclusion.

“Stereo Hearts” by Gym Class Heroes (feat. Adam Levine): My only disappoint with the song was the fact that Quinn didn’t appear to be singing. Otherwise, it was a fun Glee spin on a recent Top 40 tune. Joe’s voice worked excellently with the song, even if Sam’s rapping was a little unexpected.

“Home” by Michael Bublé: Pretty par for the course as far as Rory songs go. There was sadness, crooning and close-ups on his eyes. It proved that he’s definitely one of the more naturally gifted singers, but it didn’t break out of his vocal box much.

“I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston: This song was the big, fat elephant in the choir room. Fortunately, the song was also incredibly well performed. Mercedes’ voice is perfectly equipped for a power ballad, especially one by Whitney Houston. She did the late singer justice.

“Cherish/Cherish” by The Association/Madonna: It was cute. Sam and Quinn’s voices blended well, as usual, but it didn’t knock anything out of the park. Frankly, my favorite part was watching Brittany’s Rosie the Riveter’s hair swing back and forth.

“Love Shack” by The B-52’s: A cult classic song that should be performed by no one else except one Mr. Pirate Blaine Anderson. It was a blast of a performance, featured excellent cinematography, contained great  rotating vocals and concluded the episode with flair.


“No single people. They’re sad and boring and don’t exist in my world.” – Sugar Motta

“Do you people carry those around?” – Kurt Hummel to Rory Flanagan about his four-leaf clover.

“Honesty. Respect. Dance. This is the foundation of the Berry family.” – Hiram Berry

Overall Score

Reviewing this show is like refereeing a ping-pong match from Hell. After weeks of tired jokes, clunky story lines and way too many pointless songs, the writers deliver an episode that exudes quality. Almost every major character (except Tina and Mike) got well-written lines and screen time, and even some minor characters had a chance to shine (Sugar, Karofsky).

Even though there was yet again a small army of songs, all of them were performed well enough to merit being included. This episode managed to sidestep the vast majority of its usual pitfalls.

“Heart:” B+

About Jon Erik Christianson

Jon Christianson (COM/CAS '14) is the zany, misunderstood cousin of The Quad family. His superpowers include talking at the speed of light, tripping over walls, and defying ComiQuad deadlines with the greatest of ease. His lovely copyeditors don't appreciate that last one. If for some reason you hunger for more of his nonsense, follow him at @HonestlyJon on Twitter or contact him at!

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