BU TweetCreep: February 2nd – February 8th

I found Nemo, everybody. Thank G-d or Vishnu or the Spaghetti Monster that Nemo wasn’t this easy to find back in 2003 or we wouldn’t have the “just keep swimming” mantra today.

Even though this storm is dangerous, it’s put me in a pretty great mood. I guess I just love the Spaghetti Monster’s beautiful dandruff. Come to think of it, this whole week has been filled with bittersweet moments. The 49ers lost to the Ravens, but my friend Alejandro from Nicaragua looks way better in gold and scarlet than black and purple. We lost the Beanpot, but we’ve still got another BU team in a Beanpot later this month. Finally, I stubbed my toe this morning, but my toe’s an asshole so it deserved it.

Why don’t we flip some birds now?

On-Campus Perks

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/YourCampusBU/status/299367006786973696″]

Wait, BU’s escort service doesn’t go off campus? What free escort service have I been using? That explains why Raul was so….touchy.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/windowlej/status/299559953910337537″]

I thought this wonderful at first. Then I discovred the condom fairy isn’t real and is just CS Professor Wayne Snyder sneaking into dorms at night and slipping condoms and lube packets under people’s pillows.

Get Some Brain

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/laurlandry/status/297428821538394112″]

If BU gets brains for free why the hell do they make me pay $200,000 to get a supplement to mine?

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/298797471075823616″]

No way could this be wrong. Seriously though, if we could just download skills to our brain we’d lose all the intimacy of cold, giant, lecture halls and sleeping during class. Do we want that?


[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/HerCampusBU/status/297799980880629760″]

More like “dream girls” set list, am I right? Her performance was awesome. How the hell did those Destiny’s Child girls get flung up and then land so smoothly on high heels?! Try and do that, Flacco.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/BU_2016/status/298271113031610368″]

Class of 2016, its time you learn about something called “time management”. When there’s a Superbowl you don’t do your homework.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/c_rencis/status/298111785679085568″]

To this, the Dowager said, “Hmph, the Americans and their brute games. No pig skin is fit for the hands of pale skin nobility!” Then she flipped out when she realized that despite her best efforts to keep her family out of the topic of conversation, there was actually an international television series broadcasting every Grantham’s romantic stare and every moment poor Edith just didn’t quite make the cut.


[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/JohnBattaglino/status/299904151385681921″]

I’m not gonna vote. He’s pretty short, but I’ve seen shorter.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/ryanpeucker/status/299913975049637889″]

Ryan, don’t be so insensitive. BU’s just trying to talk to you. It needs constant affirmation. It needs support. In fact, why don’t you take some of the money you have left over after BU’s tuition and overpriced housing and take a moment to donate it to the BU campaign. Truly, there is no better cause.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/allstonratcity/status/299903959227838464″]

Actually never mind, Ryan. You should probably go grab some booze.



About Ari Stern

I am a BA/MA student at Boston University studying Energy and Environmental Analysis. When not thinking about the Earth's impending doom, I like to distract myself with comedy. I am the president/director of Boston University's improv group Liquid Fun. Every Saturday night, I perform as a cast member of Improv Boston's Face Off. I also won BU's funniest student viewers choice in 2010 and still tell people about it (at least I'm not as bad as PBR who still boasts about their blue ribbon from 1893). Finally, if you love puppies, we've got something in common.

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