I found Nemo, everybody. Thank G-d or Vishnu or the Spaghetti Monster that Nemo wasn’t this easy to find back in 2003 or we wouldn’t have the “just keep swimming” mantra today.
Even though this storm is dangerous, it’s put me in a pretty great mood. I guess I just love the Spaghetti Monster’s beautiful dandruff. Come to think of it, this whole week has been filled with bittersweet moments. The 49ers lost to the Ravens, but my friend Alejandro from Nicaragua looks way better in gold and scarlet than black and purple. We lost the Beanpot, but we’ve still got another BU team in a Beanpot later this month. Finally, I stubbed my toe this morning, but my toe’s an asshole so it deserved it.
Why don’t we flip some birds now?
Wait, BU’s escort service doesn’t go off campus? What free escort service have I been using? That explains why Raul was so….touchy.
I thought this wonderful at first. Then I discovred the condom fairy isn’t real and is just CS Professor Wayne Snyder sneaking into dorms at night and slipping condoms and lube packets under people’s pillows.
Get Some Brain
If BU gets brains for free why the hell do they make me pay $200,000 to get a supplement to mine?
No way could this be wrong. Seriously though, if we could just download skills to our brain we’d lose all the intimacy of cold, giant, lecture halls and sleeping during class. Do we want that?
More like “dream girls” set list, am I right? Her performance was awesome. How the hell did those Destiny’s Child girls get flung up and then land so smoothly on high heels?! Try and do that, Flacco.
Class of 2016, its time you learn about something called “time management”. When there’s a Superbowl you don’t do your homework.
To this, the Dowager said, “Hmph, the Americans and their brute games. No pig skin is fit for the hands of pale skin nobility!” Then she flipped out when she realized that despite her best efforts to keep her family out of the topic of conversation, there was actually an international television series broadcasting every Grantham’s romantic stare and every moment poor Edith just didn’t quite make the cut.
I’m not gonna vote. He’s pretty short, but I’ve seen shorter.
Ryan, don’t be so insensitive. BU’s just trying to talk to you. It needs constant affirmation. It needs support. In fact, why don’t you take some of the money you have left over after BU’s tuition and overpriced housing and take a moment to donate it to the BU campaign. Truly, there is no better cause.
Actually never mind, Ryan. You should probably go grab some booze.