American Idol returns, maybe (hopefully) for the last time?

The first week of season 9 of American Idol took place last week. I have watched this show once, and it was during the 2007-2008 Writers Guild of America strike. Needless to say, those were some dark, dark times. However, with Ellen DeGeneres moving in as the new judge I felt obligated as a die hard fan to sit through this freak show once more.

I didn’t realize until after I had turned on the program that DeGeneres wouldn’t be joining the panel until after auditions. But it was too late; I couldn’t stop watching. I even tuned in the second night. I tried to come up with reasons as to why I hadn’t turned it off yet (Oh, auditions are in Boston, I live there now, I should watch. Oh, Victoria Beckham is a guest judge, I used to listen to the Spice Girls, I think I’ll keep watching). Finally I had to face the facts. I was enjoying it.

That’s a secret though. Please, don’t tell anyone.

Beckham did a decent job as a guest judge: she was encouraging but not too nice; she held her own against Cowell; she disappeared when she turned sideways; and her face scared viewers. No seriously, look.

The second night of auditions took place in Georgia with guest judge Mary J. Blige. I will start off by saying that Blige is herself an American idol. She is a legend and a goddess and one of the most talented people we will ever come to know. That being said, and I mean no disrespect here, I think she was unnecessarily rude as a guest judge. I know the whole point is to laugh at the idiots who come in there and think they can sing, but her uncontrollable laughter at some contestants was actually uncomfortable to watch. Even that judge Kara whats-her-face seemed a bit uncomfortable as she tried to cover up Blige’s giggle fit. Check it out here (awkwardness begins at the 1:30 mark).

My favorite audition of the week was Vanessa Wolfe, the good ol’ southern girl that buys her dresses “for four dollar and fitty cent down at the Dollar Store out in Smyrna.” Here’s to hoping Hollywood doesn’t ruin her, because she’s adorable.

And what kind of American Idol recap would this be if I didn’t mention General Larry Platt? He’s the 62-year-old that does splits and sit-ups on the spot, and is the composer of the most recent hit, “Pants on the Ground.” He’s the next William Hung, but better. His audition became a viral video in seconds, the lyrics were posted to the internet in minutes, and t-shirts were made in days. Yes, t-shirts.

In fact, Brett Favre has already done his own cover of the hit song, here.

With Paula Abdul gone and Cowell on his way out after this season, what’s next for American Idol? With only one original judge left, and a lack of interest from the Brits to replace Cowell as the resident, sassy, English one (Elton John has already turned it down), maybe American Idol is finally on its way out.