Rudeness? Not at FitRec …
By Josh Friedman | Feb 10th, 2010
The following edition of Taken Out Of Context is inspired from Professor Doug Most’s JO 403 course on Magazine Writing and Editing.
BU's FitRec Facility
Boston University’s Fitness and Recreation Center, known on campus as the FitRec, is undoubtedly one of the most impressive recreation facilities in the country. Opening in April 2005 as a part of the brand new Student Village complex at a cost of $97 million, the facility has weight rooms, cardio rooms, an indoor track, numerous basketball courts and squash courts, swimming pools, and even a lazy river. It certainly offers options for student to say the least. However, earlier this semester, a particular incident stood out to me.
“I have three more sets on that.” My friend Larry and I, both surprised, turn around to see a fellow BU student staring at us. We were using the lateral pulldown machine and each had done one “set” of “repetitions” and were preparing to do our second when the other student barked at us. Rather than asking us when we would be finished or if he could jump in for a quick set, this student was implying that we were intruding on his space and he needed to finish. This is despite Larry and myself being on the machine for the past five minutes.
Since that episode earlier this semester, I began wondering if anyone else had had similar experiences at the gym. “I had just finished my set and I put the weights down on the floor, not back on the rack,” Tom Makhlouf, a BU Senior said. “I was going to use them again. But someone else, literally a few seconds after I dropped them, came and took them without asking. I was so shocked, I didn’t say anything.”
“People would always hover over me waiting for a machine, acting like I was in their way,” BU graduate Matt Reville recalled.
And then, there’s over-competitive behavior. “I can’t stand kids who play basketball who take themselves too seriously,” said another BU graduate. Ryan Matsuura. “Calling too many fouls, playing overly physical, that kind of thing. If a kid comes to FitRec wearing an NBA jersey and high socks, you know he is full of himself.”
Finally, over-reaction: “At the rock wall, my friend had a plastic cup on her that broke,” BU Senior Arpita Husain said. “A supervisor thought it was alcohol and tried getting her fired without even getting her side of the story. I was there when it happened. It definitely wasn’t alcohol.”
Noticing a pattern? I started thinking — FitRec is a reflection of society as a whole. Follow me on this — you get a fair share of decent people who are polite and respectful, along with a share of rude individuals who seem to think the gym revolves around them. Think about it — when’s the last time someone held a door for you? Or thanked you for doing so? Or worse, ignored you. The other day entering my Student Village residence, I held the door for another student. Instead of being thanked, I was glared at for apparently not opening the door wide enough.
Don’t get me started, please, about how people behave behind the wheel; another reflection, no doubt, of their selfish and self-centered behavior when they’re on foot: tailgating, changing lanes without signaling, failing to yield a crosswalk to pedestrians. All of which is glaringly obvious here in Boston, and frighteningly so every time I drive to and from my home in New York, down the Mass Pike and the Interstates of rural Connecticut.
A 2002 poll released by Public Agenda, “a nonprofit organization dedicated to unbiased public opinion research,” showed that 79 percent of Americans thought rudeness in society was a national problem, compared with 19 percent who felt it was not a problem. Six in 10 respondents thought the problem was getting worse.
Sometimes I wonder whether our high-tech toys are a cause – or a reflection – of this phenomenon. Cell phones and Blackberries that connect us with friends across the country, at the same time cutting us off from those are fellow students 10 feet from us, leaving us to move around in self-contained electronic bubbles, literally unable to walk the sidewalk and talk on the phone at the same time.
Yeah, I know it’s everywhere, but somehow I expected better from my peers.
“I don’t know if rudeness is a BU thing so much as a college thing,” BU Senior John Maxwell said. “It’s a mentality that students feel they deserve the world because Daddy’s putting them through college.”
Be sure to listen to Taken Out Of Context Thursdays 8-10 pm on WTBU.
For a 97 million-dollar facility, a 100×100 area for free-weights for 40 people is just not large enough. No where to stand.
Nice tags
This article is so well-written.
Josh, another great commentary on our contemporary society and how we interact with each other. You chose great quotes and your point about high-tech toys is very thought-provoking–keep up the good work in your unique style!!!
Sorry to say this; but welcome to the real world. We AARP age members have been watching this go on for a long time and must admit it is good to see it bothers some of you generation “Z”‘s too. That appears to be our only hope. You will bring up your children and relatives and friends kids to be more aware of right and wrong. You give us hope.
God Bless you…..and your obviously wonderful family that brought you up to be the sensational person you appear to be.
MF
Narcissism isn’t new, Josh. I do think the cellphonistas are taking it to a new level. As for gyms–in universities and out–how do you make fitness noncompetitive in a society that rewards top athletes exponentially more than, say, writers?
what i expected…. calm, cool, opinionated and on top of it all…
Good going,Josh! tell it like it is.all the best,atara
Right on target! Too bad that these days, polite behavior and a gentle smile have become the exception rather than the rule. Which makes it all the more important to be kind to others whenever possible — at FitRec, in the street, to your server at a restaurant, on the T… You just might get a smile in return!
Josh – I hate to think it’s a generational thing. At home, where you and I both live, the folks in the gym are fairly democratic. While members are all ages, most are senior citizens and behave well.
Like some drivers who think the road belongs to them, some gym rats come from the me-generation.
Josh – You are so talented – a radio host and a writer.
I only wish more students would follow your example of a good kid.
All the best, Fran
Unfortunately BU Fit Rec is just another example
of society at large.
It seems we all act like infants.
” I want what I want when I want it.”
There is no patience or consideration of others.
If we do not call people on their rudenes, they will
continue their ill behavior.
Josh- This country was founded on a rugged individualism that puts individual interests first and, by implication, the group’s welfare second. In other societies the well-being of the group is of paramount importance, and the individual’s needs are considered only after the group has been taken care of. This self-centered tendency of ours seems to be increasing, and your point about high-tech toys creating “self-contained electronic bubbles” for us to move around in
hits the problem bulls-eye. The “toys” are both a cause and a reflecion of it. Thanks for calling attention to this growing social difficulty!
Really well written. I’m impressed.
But try entering or exiting a store with a baby stroller and see how many people come to hold the door open for you, or help lift the stroller up stairs (so many places are still not wheelchair friendly). You’d be surprised how many people wait for you to get through the door or even shove right passed you and the baby without giving you a second thought. Amazing! It’s not just a college campus phenomena unfortunately, because, maybe, maybe then you could just blame it on immaturity, or pass it up to “20-something” narcissism. But please don’t call me ageist, YOU definitely are way mature for your years!!!!!!!! I am truly a Josh Friedman fan.
certainly something to think about
luv,cl