Let’s See That Again: “Clone High”

Remember the days before “Jersey Shore”? Of course you don’t, you fools have been brainwashed!

No but really, let’s step back a few years. Before “16 and Pregnant,” before all of those trashy dating shows where people date other people’s moms and make babies in order to see if they want to make babies with the mom’s daughter. Wait, was that right? It was something along those lines.

Anywho, let us remember all the way back to the late 1990s/early 2000s, when MTV was, in fact, my favorite television channel. Daria Morgendorffer was their queen, not Snooki, and their programming was still somewhat music related, not skank related.

I remember when TRL aired at 3:00PM everyday, and I would run home to see my favorite music videos and, swoon, Carson Daily, who I totally had a crush on (Who didn’t? He was so…pudgy). It’s a shame he had to disappear. What’s that now? He has a late night talk show? Who knew?!

Okay, getting to my point, and I do have one here somewhere. MTV had some of the best original programming back in our prepubescent years. “Daria” was my favorite show years before it was even appropriate for me to be tuning in. One of my nicknames in high school was Daria. Talk to me in person for five seconds and you’ll understand why.

After a successful five seasons of “Daria,” MTV graced us with their next animated series, “Clone High.” The show was unfortunately a one-season hit wonder, and it has come to my attention recently that people still don’t know this show even existed. Well it did. And I, as well as approximately 10 other people in the world, own the series on DVD.

The show was about a high school built for clones of famous people in history as part of a military experiment monitored by The Secret Board of Shadowy Figures. Basically we got to watch the likes of Abraham Lincoln, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, Gandhi, and John F. Kennedy live out their awkward years in a modern day high school. It was…genius.

So here’s the 4-1-1: Cleopatra is the school hottie and JFK is the popular jock/stud muffin. So naturally, JFK and Cleopatra are dating. Abe Lincoln, Joan of Arc, and Gandhi are nerds. Abe has a crush on Cleo and is totally blind to the fact that Joan has a crush on him. And Gandhi has ADD.

You’ll recognize the voice of almost every character: Abe is voiced by “Saturday Night Live” funny guy Will Forte; Joan of Arc and Gandhi are voiced by MadTV alums Nicole Sullivan and Michael McDonald; Cleopatra is voiced by Christa Miller (Dr. Cox’s wife, Jordan, on “Scrubs”); and JFK is voiced by Christopher Miller, one of the creators of the show. So you won’t recognize his voice, but his exaggerated Boston-accent is to die for.

Tons of celebrities leant their voices for other clones in various episodes, including a big chunk of the cast of “Scrubs” (Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalke, Neil Flynn), as well as Andy Dick, Tom Green, Mandy Moore, John Stamos, Michael J. Fox, Marilyn Manson, and Jack Black.

The series was incredibly witty and entertaining and of course included plenty of subtle historical references, as well as some hilarious original songs. While the series did not air in its entirety in the US, all 13 episodes aired in Canada and are included on the DVD.

It is definitely worth getting your hands on and checking out. And if you can’t find it anywhere I’ll be cloning my own copy of “Clone High” and selling ripped copies for five bucks a pop behind the COM building on Thursdays. Hah, just kidding, government…just kidding.

Stay tuned for Issue 11 of The Quad on Monday, March 29th for a feature article on today’s best adult animation series!