Last night’s Top Chef started off with a Quickfire challenge helmed by fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi. Luckily, the Quickfire had almost nothing to do with food. The chefs’ dishes were evaluated purely on appearance, turning Top Chef into the superficial beauty-fest of ANTM.
Things got pretty crazy, as Antonia made a yucca and eucalyptus “Giving Tree.” Antonia prefaced it by saying it was based “on a book by Shel Silverstein,” as if no one had ever heard of the Giving Tree before. Personally, I wish she had made roast Cat in the Hat. Fabio wrote text on his plate, which was raw tuna (to represent umbrellas) with lemon juice (rain) falling on it. But Fabio’s effort of telling-not-showing was superseded by the train wreck that was Angelo’s Roberto Cavalli crocodile skin inspired egg and liquid in a bag. Not only did Angelo write the word “crocodile” in large black letters on his table, his dish looked like a bag of hairy salsa with an egg in it. Angelo, Tre (with his boring minimalist beet and parsley dots) and Dale (with his graffiti inspired plate) were the bottom three. Fabio somehow managed to land in the top, along with Carla (for her beet and cucumber plate) and Richard (for his black chocolate ice cream). Richard won immunity, as his plate was worthy of the Google Art Project.
For the elimination challenge, the chefs drew knives saying “Frankie,” “Junior,” or “Dino.” The chefs were instantly excited about an Italian themed challenge (especially Fabio), and they soon learned that they would be cooking at Rao’s. The names on the knives referenced the owner, his son, and the chef of Rao’s. One group would cook the Antipasti, another the Primi, and the last, Secondi. Tre, in the Primi group, decided to make risotto, with which he won the first challenge in season three (so he must do well this time, right?) and proclaimed that some people call him “The Black Italian.”
Fabio is sure of victory (because he’s Italian), but Mike and Antonia are quick to remind us that they too are Italian–my how the tables have turned! After many (many!) Italian stereotypes (including the Buitoni commercials), we find that the guest judge this challenge is Lorraine Bracco (also not a food person, but she was the guest judge for the season one finale, so I’m fine with that). Lorraine spent most of her time telling stories from the set of Goodfellas.
The Antipasti course went swimmingly, with the judges and diners praising Carla’s minestrone soup, Antonia’s mussels, and Tiffani’s polenta. The Primi course, on the other hand, seemed to destroy Anthony Bourdain’s spirits. Mike’s rigatoni was undercooked, Dale’s pasta was bland, and Tre’s risotto was overwhelmed by its garnish. The judges often reminded us that Italian cooking is simple and the ingredients should not be drowning in adornments. Finally, the Secondi course redeemed the chefs slightly, with Fabio’s properly cooked chicken cacciatore, Angelo’s pork chop, and Richard’s pancetta cutlet. Bourdain proclaimed that the polenta served with Fabio’s chicken wiped away the stain of the previous course.
The chefs in the top for this challenge were all the girls (who also all cooked in the first course) and Fabio. Antonia picked up the win, though the other chefs seemed to think that her steamed mussels with fennel was way too simple to win the night. Tre, Mike, and Dale (the Primi course) were the bottom three. They agreed that Mike’s pasta was overcooked, and Lorraine Bracco blatantly said, “It just wasn’t good.” Tre seemed to be completely unaware that risotto should be looser than his was, as the judges repeated over and over that it should spread on the plate. Dale’s dish was just bland, and they had little to say about it. In the end, Tre was eliminated, which was surprising since the episode opened with Antonia saying she wanted Mike to go home. Hopefully next week the chefs won’t be pigeonholed into cooking one style of food.
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