Top Chef Recap: Everybody Made Soup

Last night’s Top Chef was a real doozy. First, the Quickfire brought in some adorable furry guests. No, the chefs did not have to slaughter and cook a rabbit, but make cookies for none other than Sesame Street favorites Elmo, Telly, and (of course) Cookie Monster. Some of the chefs (Mike and Angelo) declared that they had pretty much never made a cookie. During the cook time, the puppets bombarded the chefs with witty comments, not unlike what may happen on an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. The chefs in the bottom were Richard (who really didn’t make a cookie, more of a frozen ice cream disc) and Angelo (whose chocolate chip hazelnut cookie was too dry). In the top were Dale (who made pretzel and potato chip shortbread) and Antonia (who made a giant chocolate/caramel cookie, though Elmo commented it looked like “cow chips”). Dale won, and since immunity’s gone, he got $5,000.

The elimination challenge opened with a big announcement: the winner would receive $25,000, the most ever for a single Top Chef challenge. The chefs were to go to Target after closing, and use anything they could find in the store to make a meal for 100 employees. It soon became clear that they were actually serving at 3 a.m. and judging would commence afterward, some time around 5 in the morning.

During cooking, Carla spent too long shopping, and didn’t get to develop the flavors of her apple soup. On the other side of the store, Mike told Angelo that Angelo’s baked potato soup was missing something, so Angelo naturally added a ton of salt. That’ll do it.

The guest judge this week was Ming Tsai, whose restaurant Blue Ginger is not far from Boston. Richard served pork tenderloin, which the judges agreed was delicious, though Bourdain said his sauce looked like “parrot shit.” Dale made tomato soup and grilled cheese pressed with an iron, which made Ming call him an “Iron Chef.” Antonia boldly made a soft egg, which was very delicate for the consumer hot plates and slow cookers they were using. Mike presented coconut soup made with “fresh coconut milk,” though Padma quickly called him out on it, because it wasn’t fresh. The woman knows her coconuts. Lastly, Tiffany made jambalaya (which wasn’t jambalaya) and Angelo served his too salty baked potato soup with broccoli, scallions, and cheddar cheese, which a certain co-viewer called a “hot slice of fuck-up!”

Fatigue clearly set in, as during the bump, Carla, Antonia, and Tiffany played with stuffed animals, and Tiffany proclaimed that she may be a little tired, followed by the most maniacal laugh ever. We’re talking Natalie Portman crazy laugh.

At Judges’ Table, Dale, Antonia, and Richard were the top. Ming Tsai announced that Dale was the winner. The bottom were Carla (for her two-dimensional curried apple soup), Tiffany (who overly used packaged cajun spices), and Angelo (whose baked potato soup was too heavy and salty). When asked if they had anything to say, Tiffany started bawling about how she loved being there, and was happy with whatever the judges’ decision would be — she was clearly way more tired than anyone else in the room. Shockingly, Angelo was eliminated! The judges said his soup was inedible (kiss of death), and it’s further proof that just one mistake can ruin everything.