Today marks my final #TweetCreep —of the semester and my college career. While it was a fun, short run for me, I’ve got bigger plans ahead of me, such as being unemployed and living with my parents (side note to @NBC, PLEASE HIRE ME! #secondsemestersenior #shamelessemploymenttweet -@MeghanRRoss). I’ve met some lovely loyal #TweetCreep readers along the way (I’d say “HI MOM!” here but I don’t even think she bothers to read it) as well as uncovered the tweep behind the infamous @BUDiningService account, who stole the spotlight of the #TweetCreep with tweets about Jersey Shore, whatever else was on TV, battles between veggies and chicken fingers, and…well, mostly Jersey Shore. If you think you can handle the challenge of dissecting (and interpreting) the weekly tweirdness of #BU departments and student groups in 140 characters with the role of #TweetCreep for the next school year, tweet me and the @BUQuad with your snarkiest material. In the meantime, I’ll be drinking shotglasses of my tears leading up to graduation. It’s okay though, Judgment Day’s on my birthday so it all works out, right? And now, for my final #TweetCreep (and final ever if Judgment Day’s fo real)…
You Don’t Get to 500 Million Friends Without Most of Them Not Being Your Friends
Wait, are you saying all those random people I friend requested from the BU Class of 2011 Facebook group aren’t my real-life BFFz? …In other blatantly obvious news, 50% of my followers are porn site spambots and NOT my colleagues. #whowouldathought??
Library Desks Make Great Beirut Tables
Which is more likely that this tweet is about: getting their study on at the library or getting their swell on at the gym? #timeforcrunches
Little Miss @BUDiningService
Apparently, the #BU Shuttle has a similar application process as Charlie Sheen’s internship program. Swimsuit always kills them!
@BUSummerCon is a tweep of few (cryptic) words.
The only downside to Osama being dead (plus finding out he was living in a castle) is that a Bin Laden joke doesn’t work here anymore.
Thank You For Being a TweetCreep VIP
If @BUDiningService is Blanche, does that make @MugarLib Dorothy? Better yet, is @DeanElmore a Rose or a Sophia??
What a great honor! Not at all overshadowed in this tweet by the creepy use of SoCuteURL as a URL shortener. REALLY, @BUChemistry?!
Finals: Know Nothing, But Know Everybody?
Yeeeah unless you know the TA grading your exam really well, I’m gonna have to say this probably isn’t the best advice going into a final.
But My Facebook Friends Need to Know I’m Studying!
Slightly better advice, if only it didn’t come in the form of 140 characters from another addictive social media site.
Carbo-loading for the Finals Marathon
In other words, everyone’s going to have high blood pressure from late nights of eating their feelings about finals by the end of the week. And to top it off, @FitRec’s hours are shortened. Good thing we’re all wearing red muumuus for graduation next weekend! Is that what they mean by “Judgment Day?” #soflattering
Most Likely To Be Your Drunk Uncle
Actually, I voted @BUDiningService to be Most Likely to Secede (From the Jersey Shore House).
Mmm now I just want Devil’s Food Cake… #LizLemonthoughts
It’d be easier to tell who’s done this by checking your Facebook news feed or Twitter feed for statuses (stati?) that have variations of this: “BALLS” “POOP” “PENIS” Aren’t friends the best?!
“Insert Shaq’s Old Nestle Crunch Commercials Here”
Good thing there’s not a bicep width restriction in the kitchen or else there’s no chance for Ronnie to be a grill cook!
We’re Just Using You For Your Cubicles
Saddest. Tweet. Ever.
If you had a weird mind (like myself), you’d think using the words “big yellow thing” and “happy and warm” make you think of 1 of 2 things: Big Bird (who may or may not be Tufts’ commencement speaker) or urine. GOD I hope it’s not urine.
…and ending this last #TweetCreep as you know best:
Here we go again…
Oh snap, Snooki #yaburnt…literally.
Good thing I’m retiring from the #TweetCreep today because NOTHING can top that. #TweetCreep OUT.