Hazed and Confused

I remember with a fond shudder the time I shotgunned a Corona on East 13th Street in New York City’s Chinatown at 2 a.m. I was with my cousin, and this was his way of testing me, seeing if I could cut it as an adult in his world. And I did it faster than he did, even though I think beer is disgusting. In that moment, I went from nerdy younger cousin to…nerdy younger cousin who is cool enough to hang with the guys. In that moment I was hazed, I complied, and I got what I wanted: acceptance.

According to multiple studies, hazing instills in us a loyalty through a commonality of experiences. Though the rituals might be boorish or gross, each person in the group had to go through them, and each subsequent newcomer has a duty to also endure them to be “in.” One could draw parallels to Stockholm Syndrome–we feel bound to those who have hurt us. But when we start to make these rituals cruel to the point of hurting each other for perverse satisfaction, loyalty is born less of unifying experience and more of unifying trauma. In essence, hazing that humiliates someone to tears binds them to the group because he or she has paid the psychological fee and is now entitled to membership–and entitled to hurt the next wave of newcomers, to make them suffer similarly.

Recent news reports aside, hazing is neither a new phenomenon nor restricted to Greek life–any group with a exclusion-oriented membership model participates in some sort of hazing ritual. Greek life is only a case study. Fraternities and sororities require a certain look, personality, and mindset from their members, and these elements can be tested in hazing. It is the age-old adage, “If you aren’t willing to do this one thing, maybe you don’t belong.” It is wrong because it exploits, in gory form, many college newcomers’ deepest fear: the fear of rejection. And it uses it to excuse, in essence, torture. Hazing is not about what you can offer, but rather about what you can withstand.

Alcohol is only one part of dangerous hazing rituals.| Photo courtesy of Darwin Bell via Wikimedia Commons

My greatest insights into the hazing phenomenon have been from friends who have undergone it in some way. Though their experiences are all unique, common threads have been the ritualistic nature of the hazing (implying cultish acceptance and loyalty) and its recurrence every year, unquestioned because “they had to go through it before.” It’s just, plainly put, paying the mean forward.

Further, these actions hinder anyone struggling with mental illness or those without a strong support base on which to rely when recovering from this ordeal. What if you are recovering from an addiction problem and you want to join, say, a sports team to expand your social network–but their hazing involves alcohol? Your problems are not theirs–you aren’t welcome. Even the existence of hazing in a group is exclusionary.

It is in the leap from normal amounts of social adjustment to the lengths of shame, physical and emotional victimization, and systematic objectification that I find deeply problematic. It is one thing to have to learn how a group of friends or peers operates, to start to be invited to their parties and understand their mindsets. It is another thing entirely to do what a group wants out of fear.

Why can’t we have more groups that are welcoming instead of discriminatory, groups united over a common set of interests and goals rather than the mentality that you either cut it or you’re out? We aren’t in college to get rejected over and over again– that’s what the real world is for. The magic about BU is the diversity; every student probably has at least five student groups with which they might mesh well. We don’t have to homogenize and filter each other through hazing rituals. As I said to a friend of mine who is a member of a fraternity at Boston University, “It’s okay to not want to have done what you felt compelled to do. We’re better than this.”

Sarah Merriman

Feminist. Activist. Anarchist. Future mental health professional. Food maker. Hot drinks lover. Wrinkly dog enthusiast. Human person. @sarahmerra

7 thoughts on “Hazed and Confused

  • April 13, 2012 at 11:17 am

    East 13th Street is not even close to New York City’s Chinatown.

    • April 13, 2012 at 5:31 pm

      That wasn’t really the point of the article, but thanks for the correction! I’m not a native.

      • April 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm

        Well written BTW.

      • April 17, 2012 at 10:49 am

        Thanks so much for reading!

  • April 14, 2012 at 3:10 am

    Way to use gross generalization. Hazing may not be “restricted” to Greek life, but it is synonymous with it for a reason. If you’re looking for “groups that are welcoming and not discriminatory” at BU I suggest you step somewhere onto Comm. Ave.. We go to one of the most liberal schools in the nation and diversity and inclusiveness are literally shoved down your throat from the moment you get that acceptance package in the mail.

    If you wanted to write an article about the recent hazing incident then you should have. Instead, you masked it with this gross generalization of the word hazing where you basically spelled out the golden rule using fancier language.

    Hazing is quite literally an inseparable part of Greek life. People looking to join fraternities know that, along with a ridiculous membership fee (I affectionately refer to this process as “Buy-A-Friend”), also comes some form of hazing (usually homoerotic in nature for some reason…).

    And East 13th Street and Chinatown aren’t that far away from each other. Maybe 1 or 2 miles.

    • April 17, 2012 at 10:53 am

      Hi Jeffrey,
      Thanks for reading and commenting. While I appreciate your critique, I am not willing to throw “Greek Life” under a bus because they happen to be caught very often. I am aware of many groups on campus that haze their members, as well as fraternities and sororities that do not haze whatsoever. Also, don’t let the way we publicize articles fool you-this column was NOT on the recent hazing incident specifically-it just sparked my thoughts into writing on the phenomenon in general, as this column is a feminist take on college culture. I am against hazing of this damaging nature, no matter the group undertaking it.
      Hope you keep reading! And, thanks for the geography clarification…next time, I won’t trust Google maps.

  • April 17, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    East 13th street isn’t in Chinatown…


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